Friday, 30 April 2010

Activision: A Company To Fear


So Call of Duty: Black Ops was announced today. It’s being released next November, it’s being developed by Treyarch, It’s set in Vietnam…Blah, Blah, Blah.

We can all assume it’ll have a rank based multiplayer mode, with custom classes, perks and DLC maps. We’re all positive it’ll have an “Award Winning”, “In-Depth” story and of course it’ll have one famous actor/actress doing some voice work.

Thing about Activision is, it has a habit of making really original IP’s stale by releasing them every ten minutes. Guitar Hero especially.

I feel sorry for Bungie…

Thursday, 29 April 2010

Halo: Why Can’t We Just Get On?


I started Halo 3 yesterday. For old times sake. I enjoyed Halo: ODST more than I probably should have so I thought I’d bury the hatchet and give old Halo 3 one last shot.

I put it on hard difficulty.

Can’t get past the first level.

I hate you Master Chief.

Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Winners and Failers


THE FAILERS: E3 Line Up Leaked.

Oh look, it’s all of the announcements from E3 on a piece of paper. I BETTER NOT POST THIS ON TWITTER! 8D

Although it’s validity is… well it’s obviously faked but it’s interesting to think that some of these could be real. inFamous 2 would be a nice surprise, as would “James Bond Game for XBLA” (Dare I say Goldeneye? It has been confirmed to exist, after all.)

However, it’s obvious that a lot of these are going to be there anyway. Gears of War 3, Guitar Hero 6 and Dead Space 2 because they’ve all be announced  and it’s obvious that this is a fake because it has the Call of Duty MMO on it. I mean seriously. Someone's just collected all of the rumours from the past six months and dumped them on a piece of paper. Amateurs. If this was a proper fake it would have Mario 128 and Duke Nukem Forever on it.


THE WINNERS: Halo 2 Is Still Online

This is my equivalent of a feel good story. Basically, these fourteen gamers have kept themselves permanently connected to the Halo 2 servers in an effort to keep the game alive, even though Microsoft closed the service two weeks ago.

"A small group of dedicated Halo 2 players kept their Xbox's on so that they could enjoy the game for a while longer. (As long as we don't turn off our Xbox's, or lose connection, we can stay online.)"

"Our Xbox's have been on for nearly 13 days straight. Each day the amount of people decreased, at a rapid rate."

"A lot of us became really good friends, and it's almost like we're family now,"

"We will keep playing until we are all forcibly removed. It could be by Microsoft, Bungie, our Xbox's overheating, or just lagging out. Not for competition, not for a prize, but for the love, and memory of Halo 2."

Isn’t that nice? I think it’s great when people are dedicated like this.

It’s just a shame they aren’t addicted to a decent game, really.

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Five Things That Are Better Than Sims 3 On Consoles


So The Sims 3 was confirmed for consoles today. Here are things that I deem better than this news.

1) Rectal cancer.

2) My inevitable mortality.

3) Red Steel. (Seriously).

4) The sounds of tiny children crying.

5) Sonic the Hedgehog.

Seriously though. They’re claiming it’s going to be identical to the PC version. How? There’s no mouse on an Xbox. Or on a Playstation. Oh, and before you say Wii slap yourself round the face will you? Come on. Seriously. It’ll be like Diet Sims.

Now, I may sound like I’m jumping to conclusions here but considering how God awful past console incarnations of the Sims were… do you blame me? Thought not.

Still, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt for now!

I’m kidding of course. I’m extremely prejudiced.

Sunday, 25 April 2010

I Got Me Some Pocket Men


Ended up getting Pokémon Heart Gold for pretty much free! So the moral of the story is wait and you’ll get a cheap Pokémon game… maybe..

Anyway I’ve played it for about an hour and a half so far and already I'm extremely impressed. Graphics are lovely, game play is the same (but hey, if it aint broke!) and the Pokéwalker is actually a really well made little peripheral. Will I use it? Maybe. Maybe.

Anyway, more news that’s not related to Pokémon tomorrow.

Saturday, 24 April 2010

The Passing - Review


So, I’ve finally played the Passing. Did I enjoy it? Well… that’s difficult to answer.

In some ways I was impressed. The new weapons actually bring some new flavour into the game (The M60 is incredibly fun to use), the actual level design of the campaign is really well executed and, as always, has a lot of replay value and there are a lot of really nice features like footlockers full of pills/Molotov's/pipe bombs, the Bride witch (and wedding guest zombies!) and the new Survivor uncommon common which adds this really interesting new dynamic to the game. Need health? Pipe Bomb? Pills? Quick! Get the Survivor! He even runs away, forcing you to back track in order to get him.

What didn’t I like? The original cast. Valve had so much potential with the original cast being present within The Passing but they’ve really let themselves down. You see one of them at the very beginning… and then you see three of them at the very end. Oh, and as for who dies…


Bill dies. How? Fuck if I know. He’s just slumped against a generator. There’s no explanation and there’s not even any remorse or even sadness shown from the remaining three. They’re just their normal everyday happy go lucky selves. Just minus Bill. Really upsetting.


Apart from the tacked on original cast, I really enjoyed The Passing. However, If I’d had to pay for it, I would have fucking lost it.

Thursday, 22 April 2010

Five Things That Have Been On My Mind Today

1) Goddamn Valve, you are very good at making promo videos and launch trailers. I take my hat off to you, fine sirs and ladysirs. However, I have no intention of playing The Passing until the weekend. I apologise.

2) Why is Perfect Dark so goddamn hard on the… hardest difficulty? It took me three hours of solid playing to get past the first level. I hate old games, yet love them in equal measure. Damn you Rare.

3) Why isn’t Pokémon free? Also, why haven’t governments checked this game for mind control? Why do I want it so much? It’s embarrassing!

4) Should I put Ads on my blog? I suppose it would look a little less flash, but it’s free money and I like that idea.

5) Why hasn’t Sony came over and fixed my PS3 yet? It seems that the gaming God’s have forbidden me from ever finishing GTA4.

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

Perfect Dark: CLOCKED


Finally finished the remake of Perfect Dark today and phwooooarrr is it good. Like seriously, it’s lick your lips in ecstasy good. Well, the level design is perfect, the music is spot on, the weapons are completely innovate and really fun to use and it has that lovely Rare fluidity about it which just makes it fantastic to pick up and play every time.

However, the story is absolute shite. There’s nine chapters, with about three missions in each, and I have no clue whatsoever as to what was going on. Seriously. I could make a rough guess, but I’d literally be guessing. It’s so badly crafted it’s laughable. Also, the voice acting is really terrible as well. Perfect Dark was unfortunately made in a generation that didn’t take things like voice acting too seriously, therefore Joanna Dark may have the body and the talent of a international super secret agent, but she has the voice of a fourteen year old girl which is just… ew.

As a remake though, it’s extremely faithful to the original game.

Anyway, I’m certainly going to pick up a copy of Perfect Dark Zero this weekend, just ‘cos I can innit. Mainly because I want to know why she’s ginger in this one but brunette in the original. Also my PS3 is still dead and I need something else to play.

Oh, and Valve did confirm the release date for Left 4 Dead 2 DLC on the PC yesterday. It’s coming out tomorrow for free. Linkage!

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Good Zombies, Bad Zombies and Capcom Is Just Genuinely Awesome.



Dead Rising 2 is to feature co-op play. This is win for so many reasons. Mainly because having you and a mate running round like nutters killing thousands of Zombies using anything sounds to me, like my perfect game. Not just my perfect Zombie game, but my favourite game, period. Release date’s in September. I can’t wait!


Left 4 Dead 2 is finally getting it’s first piece of DLC, The passing, this Thursday on Xbox. It has loads of awesome features, and of course includes the original survivors. Read that again. Yes, I only said Xbox and that’s not a typo I’m afraid. It just hasn’t been confirmed for PC yet. Oh Valve. Why. What’s happened to you?


I don’t even have to explain why this the best thing I’ve seen all day. Chris Redfield fighting the Hulk? Oh God yes.

Monday, 19 April 2010

What Happens After The Hero Rescues The Princess?

It’s finally been explained, and it makes so much sense! /sexism

Sunday, 18 April 2010

Pokémon HeartGold – DO WANT


When I was a seven, I got a Game Boy Colour from my parents. With it, I got Pokémon Gold. I played that game for about two years, every day. I loved it, and even during the “Pokémon is for social outcasts” phase, it always had a soft spot within my heart.

So, is it any surprise that I’m literally gagging for this game? I face two problems though:

  • No money to buy the game.
  • No Ds, as it’s broke.
  • No money to fix the DS, or buy a new one.

I hate being a teenager.

Saturday, 17 April 2010

Halo 3: ODST Is Actually Good


Got a friend over mine at the moment and he brought up Halo 3: ODST (Or just ODST. Why is it called Halo 3: ODST? It’s just awkward to say) and it’s actually… really, really good. Like, seriously good.

As you all probably know I hated Halo 3 so much I have a life-sized master chief cardboard cut-out that I just punch everyday when I walk past it, because the game was so bland and unimaginative It made me permanently angry. But ODST is like someone took Halo 3 and made it something that’s actually good to play. Unlike the shiny, colourful world of previous Halo games, ODST places you into the ruined city of New Mombasa. At night. In darkness, you only have your helmet to keep you from being slaughtered by the Covenant… oh, and did I mention that you’re just a regular foot solider and not a super solider like Master Chief? The Rookie, who you play as primarily for most of the campaign, would have been killed within the first ten minutes of Halo 3. As would his team mates.


But although ODST sounds like another run of the mill shoot em and kill em and get bored after about an hour, ODST has this depth to it that makes it… well one of the finest FP’s I've played in a long time. The music is gorgeous, the graphics are fine, the characterisation (You play as members of your missing squad through “Flashbacks” as the Rookie explores the city) is spot on and overall? It’s an incredible little game. Oh, and did I mention that it’s free roam when you play as the rookie? Trust me, it really adds to the overall experience.

My only problem however is that ODST suffers from Portal syndrome as me and Friz finished it in around four and a half hours. This game could have been something incredible if it was longer, but as it is it's certainly worth picking up. Even if you’re not a Halo fan.

I know. Shocking isn’t it? (Bad pun).

Thursday, 15 April 2010

Crysis 2: Made Out Of Unicorn Blood, Jesus’ Tears And The Willpower Of A Dragon. Obv.


I’ve just done some research and apparently Crysis 2 will run on my computer on medium to high graphics. Look at that screenshot above and yes, I don’t know how, but that is an actual in-game screenshot. Just look at that. That may as well be real. Like seriously, that may as well be a real man standing there in a suit that looks like a Transformer naked.

I’ve never been a fan of Crysis, as I mentioned in an earlier post and to my mother, but I'm intrigued by the prospect of the new one. Especially how they’ve made it so it looks better than the original but runs on worse computers… That’s magic in motion kids. Right there. “Hey! I can pull a rabbit out of a hat!”…

… “Well I can play Crysis 2 on a mid range PC and it still looks better than your Mum. So suck it.”

Gears Of War 3: A Shocking Reveal?


So the Gears of War 3 trailer was released. It had a load of people dead and left as nothing but ash, standing screaming etc. Fairly cool. Then Dom comes running through them looking like Bear Grills made a baby with an actual bear. He comes running through all these dead ash people, just smashing them up etc. and then the locust come and they shoot and… you get the idea. It’s Gears of War. What else do you expect. So far so Epic, in all sense of the word.

Then two really strange things happen.

1) Marcus turns up with short sleeves, making him look like someone advertising a gay cruise to Pompeii.Still, at least I now know what makes a muscle man look instantly gay. Short sleeves! Who would have guessed?


2) A woman turns up. With a gun. Yea you read that right. She turns up, with a gun and starts shooting locust. No she’s not Anya, and no she doesn’t have huge man shoulders. Still, there’s going to be some discussion amongst the internet as to whether she’s a stereotypical video gaming female (i.e. there will be a point where she has her chesticles on display in a completely impractical situation) or so mega butch she may as well be Cole in a blonde wig. Actually… well Epic? Please? For me?

I like it. In fact I love it. Looks to be more of the same but there’s so much potential for some REALLY good storytelling. Take Dom, he looks like a broken man. Beard out of control, his hairline receding. He seems clumsy, and when he falls and sees the locust raise his gun? He really doesn’t care. I’m probably looking too much into this, but this looks to be possibly game of the year 2011.

Trailers below.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

MissingNo. Trick

Ahhh. I used to be shit scared of MissingNo. Not because I thought it would break my game. I just used to fear it would come out of my game Boy and eat me.


Monday, 12 April 2010

Halo MMO – “Better Than Jesus” Claims Man Who… Made It.


Dusty Monk (yes, that’s actually his name) who worked on the cancelled Halo MMO has turned around today and said that it was going to be better than WoW.

“The Halo MMO was absolutely going to compete with WoW"

Oh right OK. Yea I totally believe that. I bet it was going to be just as good as Duke Nukem Forever. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW GOOD THAT IS. Of course you can turn around and say that when we have absolutely no clue what it was going to be like. You know what? I’m going to speculate that you could do ANYTHING. Anything at all. I bet you could even make Master Chief turn into Jessica Rabbit then have him/her fly an X-wing into a T-Rex. Yea, you know what? If that’s what the Halo MMO was, then I’m guessing it was pretty damn awesome.

Sunday, 11 April 2010

Some Epic Announcements


On Monday, Cliff Bleszinski is planning on unveiling two completely new titles that EPIC have been developing and collaborating on. One of them is obviously Gears of War 3, but the other one is a new game called Bulletstorm. Yea you read that right. BULLETSTORM. A STORM OF BULLETS. RAWR. Another manly game for Epic then, I would guess.

The press release included within this months issue of Game Informer (which has leaked) says that you’ll be shooting a load of mutants with a variety of weapons in a deserty / vegas type environment but… ahh I don’t know. I tuned out when reading it to be honest. It’s just another EPIC title. It’s going to include lots of blood, the Unreal 3 engine and manly men. Oh, and it’s obviously going to be really good. Is there anything else you need to know? Nah I didn’t think so.

I am excited for the Gears of War 3 information though.

Saturday, 10 April 2010



You know what I haven’t done in ages? A blog where I just ramble on about what I’ve been doing. ‘Suppose I haven’t really had much to ramble about lately.

So, most importantly my PS3 broke today. Disc readers just gone, and it’s going to cost me £130 to get it replaced. £130, which I don’t have. So that’s me PS3 less for a few months. May as well get used to playing on my Xbox. Maybe I’ll even get round to finished Mass Effect! Who knows.


Bought Timesplitters the other day and haven’t had a chance to play it yet, so me and Emma decided it was about time to give it a go so we booted it up on Co-Op. The music was funky, the levels were simple but surprisingly VERY fun and the graphics weren’t really THAT bad. So we played through the campaign and… erm… finished it in half an hour. In all honesty, some of the levels took under a minute to complete. It was… ridiculous. Still, we had fun and I only payed £2 for it overall so it wasn’t too much of a loss. I was gutted that there was no arcade league on it though. I mean, what’s that all about?


And finally, my lovely girlfriend has actually started her own blog about being a girl gamer.  Now, you’ll get our Timesplitters from two sources. It’s like two commentators. One talks about the graphics, the other talks about the waists. Make sure to check her out here, and trust me you’re in for a treat.

Friday, 9 April 2010

Crysis 2


So the official, HD, shiny new “OMG IT’S GONNA BE RELEASED SOON SO BUY IT PLEASE” trailer for Crysis 2 was revealed today. First impressions? Well it looks like all of the other generic, alien invasion end of the world videogames out there. And by that, I mean it looks awesomely amazing.

I’m excited by this, but completely torn about which console to get it on. Do I get it on PC, and pray that I meet requirements, or do I get it on PS3 and suffer a few graphical cut backs?

Think i’ll go with Ps3.

Should probably finish the first one while I’m at it as well.

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Old Games Are HARD!


Me and my girlfriend finished Timesplitters Future Perfect on the PS2 the other day. Only took us about five hours overall, and as we finished it we decided that it was way too short. We came to the conclusion that although we love Future Perfect, Timesplitters 2 is just a far superior game. So I went out and bought it for  three quid. Bargain, I thought.

Then we played it. You ever heard the expression, “Looking through the rose tinted glasses?”. Well we were looking through the rose tinted goggles. Timesplitters 2 is as hard as fecking diamond.

There’s no health! Only check point PER LEVEL and barely any ammo and decent weapons.

All in all? Either we’ve gone soft, or our memories are wrong…

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Third Times A Charm…


I started GTA4 again yesterday, mainly because I’ve never finished it. Not too sure why, but I just never got into it enough to see it to the end. Anyway, now that Episodes from Liberty City has finally surfaced on the PS3 I feel as though I have a good enough reason to pick it up again.

Third time lucky? Well, it worked with Fallout.

I haven’t really been gaming enough lately, because I’ve been starting up an online radio station. As it’s finally hit a stable point, this site will certainly start to be updated more!

Tuesday, 6 April 2010


With every second of this video, my soul slowly dies…

Monday, 5 April 2010

Duke Nukem Forever – The Game That Keeps On Giving

So everyone, everywhere has been getting an erection over this video and I thought it was probably about time I gave my opinion on it.

If this video is the most recent incarnation of Duke Nukem Forever, then I am severely disappointed. Not in a, “Woah man, this was overhyped” kind of way, but in a “Oh God, I’ve played Half Life 2 mods better than this.”

Come on 3D realms, stop kidding yourselves. The last original IP you developed was Prey. I mean seriously, we’re not in the 80’s anymore guys. We don’t want to run around with a mullet, screaming hilarious “manly” phrases and “Blowing the shit out of some alien scum”. Allright? It’s over.

Please. Stop this nonsense.