Sunday, 31 May 2009

E3 Is Upon Us

So E309 begins tomorrow and no doubt there will be a literal flood of quality games revealed and demoed as well as some shiny new tech for us all to get excited about. You know, same as every year.

However theres one E3 that I'll always have fond memories for. It was the year that Reggie held up that strange new handheld with two screens, and behind him was Super Mario 64 on a handheld. Honestly, my mind = blown.

Then the Nintendo Revolution was held in air and it was revealed that.... well not a lot really but there it was! And how would it be revolutionary? What did it do?? Hang on a virtual console? The new Legend of Zelda

It was all perfect. I'd never been more excited in my life. The fanboy within me wept with happiness at what it had just learnt... Classic times. Then of course both of the things came out and they were pretty shit, but oh well!

Bring on next week!

Saturday, 30 May 2009

Top 5 Best Levels Ever

This week, the best levels ever.  Well in my opinion anyway. I haven't put them in any order either, because of the sheer amount of things I could have added. Also, you'll notice there are no retro games present. That's because games like Super Mario World, Sonic 2 and The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past are just perfect from beginning to end. 

1) Fort Frolic - Bioshock

God I love this. personally I think is the most exciting section of what is quite plainly a classic. It had everything. A sense of elegance, a sense of madness, visual and metaphorical decay and some of the most messed up characters in the history of videogames. Still, what do you expect from the guy who designed "The Cradle" from Thief

2) 2Fort - Team Fortress 2

Come on, I dare you to think of another level that is so perfectly made and so well balanced on an online game. Go on, do it. Don't worry, I can wait all day while you do. I'll be playing this, over and over and over again. Nothing compares, nothing comes close. It's the beauty of 2Fort. 

3) Ravenholm - Half Life 2

There's just something so... upsetting about Ravenholm. As you wander it's dark streets, fighting the zombie hordes, avoiding the traps set by the quite frankly mental Father Grigori, you can't help but realise that everything you've fought for, everything that everyones fought for, could be so easily destroyed in such a brutal way by the viscous combine... Classic stuff right here. 

4) ... Everything - LittleBigPlanet

See that? Everything inside that little box is complete genius. Every single little iota of it, is professional, polished and just damn fun. 

5) Hanger - Metal Gear Solid

This one may be just me but.... When you first stepped into the hanger on the PlayStation version of Metal Gear Solid... you just knew you were playing something special, something fresh, something unique. It's always going to be one of the best moments in gaming for me. 

Friday, 29 May 2009

Ahhh Summer!

So it was sunny today! Did I exploit this fact? Did I bollocks. I spent most of it indoors with my lovely Lady playing Resi 5 and Tomb Raider and did I mind? Did I hell! Was great fun :)

So I'm off now to have a mess around on Warhawk, which I obtained by accident xD

Thursday, 28 May 2009

Resident Evil 5: The Quest Begins.... and Ends

So i've decided that I want to try and get 1000 gamerscore on Resident Evil 5. It was just a random descision, and part of me thought that I'd be able to do it. How wrong I was.

So there I was, guide in hand ( long story, my mate got it free when he bought the game. When I bought the game, I got an Xbox free. Strange world huh?) and the intentions of every achievement unlocked set firmly in my mind. Off I set on my adventure, and by chapter 2-1 I was stumped. See, I was in the mines and according to the guide there was a ruby lodged into the ceiling, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find the damn thing. I spent a good twenty minutes searching for it, and eventually just ended up shooting everything in that area with my pistol until it fell off. Eventually it did, but I wasn't too pleased as you've probably already guessed.

Then I got to 3-1, and lo and behold, this BSAA emblem needed me to either be in co-op or, as the game stated, put another controller in and play by myself. This was the point I threw everything on the floor and played Episode 2. 

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

DSi Pictures

Oh yes, that's me looking rather.... large faced. See, my sister got her DSi on Saturday so I naturally nicked it off her to have a mess around. To be honest... I was underwhelmed, and here's why!

Firstly, as you can see, the camera is rather good. Quality not fantastic, but certainly matches the like of the iPhone and other top end mobiles, which considering the DSi is just a handheld is rather impressive. The features for photo editing although simple and rather silly are still clever. Stuff like the relatives viewer, which can identify if your related or not. 

Thing is, and this is my problem, it's just a DS Lite with a camera and a sound recorder. Yea all right then, it's also an Mp3 player but... well who would want to use it as one?

Anyway, here's the rest of my mental pictures of me and my Girlfriend. 

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Modern Warfare 2

Call of Duty 4 is one of the best games ever made. You can't deny it, it's a masterpiece of smooth gameplay, great graphics and epic storytelling. It wasn't exactly life changing, but it was certainly groundbreaking. 

So it's pretty obvious that I'm excited for Modern Warfare 2, especially the multiplayer on the Xbox with some mates of mine, and this trailer has just increased my excitement by a tenfold. Not because of the stuff within the trailer. In fact, the trailer just makes it look a bit shallow, but i know for a fact the online will be something of a masterpiece. 


Monday, 25 May 2009

Team Fortress Rage

I'm still ranting over the new Team Fortress 2 weapon unlocking system. It took me seven hours today to get a duplicate of the Huntsman... Seven hours of gameplay people. Seriously...

Anyway, the video below made me calm down. I'm seriously impressed with the attention to detail of it. Pretty much identical to the original Super Smash Brothers Opening!

Also, in a  completely unrelated note, I just ripped my tie....

Sunday, 24 May 2009

Team Fortress 2: The Spy/Sniper Update

So since Friday, I've been playing Tf2 pretty much none stop and I can safely say that I like the latest update that provided the Sniper and Spy with some new toys to play with. However, I must admit, a lot of the new additions irritate the shit out of me.

First of all, the weapons unlocking system. I admit that in theory this system is a lot better than the achievements, but it's a shame it doesn't work. Lady was playing for four hours last night, and she didn't get a single weapon. Nice work Valve. I've been playing for seven and I only have one (admittedly, it is the huntsman which is just the boyo).

Secondly, a lot of the maps are broken. Especially the arena maps. Nucleus seems to have a problem with half of it's platforms being classed as "Solid", meaning you fall through things a lot and for some reason none of the unlockables work anymore on arena maps.... Typically. 

When you overlook the flaws however, what you have here is a very ambitious update that offers a lot to new and old players alike. So good work Valve, just release a few patches pretty quickly yea?

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Co - Op Gaming

Anyone out there remember split screen gaming? You know, before Xbox Live? Well me and my girlfriend do. In fact, we never let it out of our sights. We're avid Timesplitters players and frequent Left 4 Dead enthusiasts, and recently have been playing Resi 5

Now, about a week ago, me and a mate finished Gears of War on splitscreen and I was thoroughly convinced that this was the best of the best. I was wrong. 

Go out there now children, and buy a second controller for your console of choice. Then get someone round. You're significant other like I do, you're best friend, your maid of honour, your hairdresser, the postman (it can be anyone) and sit down and play a good co-op game on splitscreen. Resident Evil 5 is possibly one of the best, but Gears of War, LittleBigPlanet and Left 4 Dead are extremely enjoyable.

Take a leaf out of my book. Play split screen. 

Friday, 22 May 2009

Top 5 Worst Videogame Quotes

So after a recent discussion it's been decided that from now on, pretty much once every week unless something seriously important comes up like Valve releasing the next Half Life game in a  toaster, I'll be making a short but simple top 5 list covering various topics and of course, reeking of personal opinion, and what a better topic to start on than God awful dialogue from our favourite games!

Of course, these go from worst to best ;)

1) "SHINE GET!" - Mario Sunshine (Gamecube)

Ok, so a lot of people won't agree with this but this has always been a pet peeve of mine. For a game that had been in development for so long, surely Nintendo could have translated such an important piece of dialogue a little... more professionally? 

2) "I might need you to play Twing Twang" - Heavenly Sword (PS3)

Not only was this line so utterly ridiculous but combined with the horrendously serious cutscene it appeared in, I'm not surprised if about half the owners of this game just turned it off by the plug. Twing Twang? This is a game about a freaking female version of Kratos, why the hell would she want to play a game called Twing Twang? I think one of the worst things about this was also because Sony deemed this one of the best games on the console... Pfffft

3) "Do you believe that love can bloom, even on the battlefield?" - Metal Gear Solid (Playstation One)

Now, don't get me wrong. I adore Metal Gear Solid, but my GOD does it have some of the worst cases of dialogue ever seen in video games. 90% of the time, the games so pretentious and stuck up it's own arse it's inside out. This quote, which actually makes me physically cringe everytime I hear it, is one of the worst. 

4) "I see the president has armed his daughter with... Ballistics now" - Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube)

Christ,  does this one even need an explanation? It's so out of the blue and just so random that it never ceases to make me laugh. God bless Capcom, believing that they can sneak in a cheeky chebs joke without breaking the flow of the story. Unfortunately however, they believed wrong.

5) "You were almost a Jill sandwich!" - Resident Evil (Playstation 1)

There are a plethora of quotes from this classic title that I could have used, but "Jill sandwich" is certainly the most humorous. A close second would of course the epicness of "Master of Unlocking" and that line about Chris's blood. I don't know what Capcom were thinking when they wrote this, or for that matter when they hired the voice actors, or when they released it! Still, it adds to the fact that this is still a pure joy to play.

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Alyx Vance

When it comes to female companions, the videogame industry often struggles to get the formula correct. If the AI's perfect, the poor girl will have a waist smaller than an oreo and breasts the size of Kilimanjaro. If the looks perfect, then the she'll no doubt be shooting at the wall and getting caught on objects. Or, and this ones the most common, a look that would make feminists froth at the mouth and the intelligence of a dead shrew. (Oh yes Sheva, I'm looking at you)

However, with Alyx Vance, I feel Valve finally did it. She's good looking, but in a normal everyday sort of way. She's witty, she's intelligent and a genuinly likeable character (again Sheva, I'm looking at you. Hang your head in shame girl) but most of all she actually helps. Valve are masters of AI as we all know, and Alyx was certainly the pinnacle of this evolutionary cycle. She knows when to shoot, she knows when to run away from danger, she knows when you need to take care of a problem and she needs to hang back, and when she needs to be right by your side. In all honesty, I actually enjoy the sections when you're with Alyx (Episode one especially) and find them quite entertaining. You know, unlike some games.... (Run Sheva. Run far away) 

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Three Games I Should Really Finish...

1) Crackdown

See, I would finish this straight away, but the thing is... well It's one of those games where you're REALLY enjoying it but then another game takes over and you just never go back to it.  You know? What do you mean "Lazy Gamer"?

2) Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Ok, so I never finished GTA4 either but I enjoyed this one much MUCH more than Rockstar's latest installment. However, this reached a point where it was harder than a Rhino's door (wow... worst analogy ever 0.o) and I just gave up. Well I say gave up, like Crackdown I gave up for another game. Hey don't look at me like that! It was Age of Conan

3) Metal Gear Solid 4

Hey! Don't look at me like that! I just, stopped... no... no... 

*jumps out window*

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Prepare to be Informed

Regular visitors (Hai Friz!) may remember that I bought the Orange Box for the PS3 so I could finish Half Life 2 on a console. Well I can tell you now, that I never finished it on the PS3, but I'm pretty close to finishing it on the Xbox! OK, so it isn't my copy it's a friends, but I'm still enjoying it a lot more. Especially with..... *sighs*.... with the achievements....

In other Valve related news, I've been playing a lot of Team Fortress 2 on the PC as of late what with the announcement of the Sniper / Spy update last week. I'm actually not sucking as much as I normally do as the spy, but come next week everyone will be a spy so.... Yea. PYRO :D

Finally, me and a Friend finally finished Gears of War on co-op on Hardcore. Fantastic game, but I thoroughly enjoyed the final battle with General Raam, mainly because of my mate having about a five minute long planing session before hand, about how we use the Torque bow, long bow then repeat. I just ran on the Troika and mowed him down within seconds. I lol'd. 

Monday, 18 May 2009


No where was I? Oh yea Dj Hero! Wait...... I haven't blogged in almost two weeks! Woah what happened? Did I black out or something? Oh wait no, I've had A-Level exams as of late and just haven't had the time. Foolish of me huh? To neglect such a noble duty that is the "blog". Or maybe I was just busy and stuff. Well who knows. A conundrum for a later time. 

Tomorrow I'll post something more complete, but I can't not post the epicness that is the Meet The Spy. I actually consider this a landmark in video game advertising. It truly is incredible.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Dj Hero Controller Revealed

Anyone else finding this.... monstrosity hard to comprehend? I must admit, it's purty but the whole idea makes me nauseous. Eugh.

I have no clue what the "tracklist" is for DJ Hero, but I doubt it'll appeal to me as much as Guitar Hero did :P

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Call of Duty Vietnam

Forget the deadly Swine Flu! If the latest Internet rumours are true, and the next Call of Duty game will be set in Vietnam, then it will seriously affect out great nation. Another crappy shooter set in a jungle environment... with flamethrowers...

Ahhh hell. Just someone give me Modern Warfare 2 quickly before I rage, kay? 

Monday, 4 May 2009

Bank Holidays Ftl

OK so the reason I haven't been blogging since... well last Wednesday is because of the Bank holiday. You know it to be true.

Lately I've been experiencing the original Gears of War on co-op on Hardcore (Difficult) and Gears of War 2 single player on the same difficulty setting (Too hard D:). I'm enjoying both, especially the first one because I never finished it, but I'm really being pushed. I'm such a crap gamer!

I've also discovered Race Driver Grid. I'm enjoying it, but that's a blog for another time :P