Sunday, 31 January 2010

The Worlds Most Important Question


Does Peggle require skill, or is it just all about luck?

It’s a question that we may never be able to answer.

Saturday, 30 January 2010

Three Things I Hate About Pre-Owned Games

2010-01-30 23-50-44.041

  1. Games owned by Smokers.

Once in a blue moon, I’ll buy a game from somewhere like Entertainment Exchange, usually a PC RTS like the Settlers, for around £2, and it will stink of smoke. I hate smoking, I think it’s disgusting, and when I’m holding something that smells like it’s been used as an ashtray since it' came out four years ago… it’s never good. This also covers games that are sticky. Yes, sticky. I bought a copy of Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga and it’s cover felt like it had been smeared in Jam. Of course, I didn’t realise this until I’d placed my brand new copy of inFamous on top if it. Which was just… marvellous.

2. Games in awful conditions.

The image above, is my copy of Crackdown. Have you seen the state of that back cover? My copy of Mass Effect is the same. It has no plastic on the top of it as well, which means it can’t close and…. well it has a hole in the top of it. The worst thing about Crackdown though, is that I was going to buy a copy for a fiver from Gamestation at first, but I was told I needed I.D. Crackdown is a 15. I was 16 at the time. I was denied it. So I walked over to Grainger, where I had to buy THAT copy, for £12! I had to pay a clear seven pound more for a copy in worse condition. Bloody retailers.

3. Games with all the important stuff missing.

When I first bought my Xbox, I picked up a few key games to go with it. Halo 3, Resident Evil 5 and Gears of War 2. Now, I bought Gears of War 2 mainly for the online play as I had already completed it. However, I soon found out that most of my friends who played it online were rather fond of the original maps that were packaged free within pretty much all copies of Gears of War 2. Well I should rephrase that. All new copies. I had a pre-owned one. What really annoyed me, was that someone out there had an Xbox with the extra maps just sitting on his hard drive, while I had the bloody game.

Friday, 29 January 2010

So Long, Farewell....

So my Xbox Live ran out today, which means that tomorrow I'll be trading in Modern Warfare 2.

Oh Modern Warfare 2, How you've given me laughs, endless fun and callsigns.

Anyway, out of grievance I'll be getting this for the PS3...


Thursday, 28 January 2010

Sod the iPad. Game Boy Camera Is Where It’s At.


So who else is sick of hearing about the iPad? I know I am.

Therefore lets talk about the greatest invention of the past one hundred years.

The Game Boy camera.

I remember being absolutely blown away by this. It was a camera, on your Game Boy! A real Camera! You could like, take pictures and stuff it was amazing! I remember my mate getting one for his birthday as well as Pokémon Yellow and I was so jealous I cried. True story.


Look at the quality of that picture! It’s right to say, that that’s a car. Yup. Incredible stuff.

Of course, all of this was pointless until this came along…


So you can sit there and drool over your iPad’s and your iMacs and your iPhones, whereas I’ll be hunting on eBay for a one of these babies.

Do you want a terrible black and white camera for an outdated handheld system? Well there isn’t an app for that. So suck it.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010



So Apple once again releases something new. It’s pointless, it’s completely unpractical… and it’s shiny.


Tuesday, 26 January 2010

League of Legends


So I’ve been playing League of Legends (or LoL, as it’s often called, which I just find fantastic) quite obsessively these past few days. A friend recommended it to me on the basis that it was “very similar” to the cult Warcraft 3 mod Defence of the Ancients. To be honest, the only reason I gave it a download was because it sounded a bit like Warcraft 3 and… well it’s free to play.

I’ve been graciously rewarded for my choice. League is a very simple, yet addictive game that works like this. The player picks a character to play as, or a “Summoner” as they’re referred to in game, which is basically a hero character that you play as. All of these characters have four magic abilities and a basic attack that varies from punch or cast. Then you’re placed into a game with 9 others (5 Vs. 5 games) and the game begins. The basic premise is each base is defended by towers and waves of units which guard the main paths leading to your base. In the centre of each base is a building that must be destroyed to win the game.


So the premise is deviously simple, yet in practice it becomes this surreal game of fantasy tug of war. See, these towers are pretty powerful so you end up relying on the waves of units to act as human shields in order to push forward. Your summoner can level up to a maximum of level 18 in a single game, gaining more powerful levels of their abilities as you progress (as well as gold to purchase ability boosts) which means that what starts off as a quite relaxing game of click- to – kill – minions ends up as a furious war between ten completely different magical beings, all of them mercilessly slaughtering each other in an effort to just… destroy… that… one last… tower…

It becomes a death match, near the end. Once you hit level 5 it’s no longer about killing the minions. It’s about getting a positive kill streak by chasing down enemy summoners for a huge XP boost, as well as attempting to aid your minions is progressing… you get the idea. It’s a simple concept, but strikingly complex in practice.


Of course, the beautiful thing about this game isn’t the fresh and addictive nature of it’s game play or the quite frankly gorgeous visual style. No, it’s all in the fact that you don’t have to pay a penny to play it. Sure, there are additional buffs and enhancements you can buy with real money, but if you play enough games online you’ll earn enough “Riot points” to acquire them without ever having to touch your debit card. Even better, is the fact that the developers bring in a new set of summoners every wednesday in order to keep the game fresh and exciting. If you become attached to a summoner, you have the option of purchasing him or her (with money or riot points), meaning he won’t disappear from your list of available characters come next wednesday.

In conclusion? I’m in love, and addicted. There’s so much more I’ve missed out, like a powerful ranking system, fresh maps, character skins, runes. The list goes on and on. This is as good as it’s going to get for free to play games people, so I’d highly recommend you download right now.

Monday, 25 January 2010

Once Again, I Return


You know, funny story about where I’ve been for the past week. Mainly, working on this very website for my media project. Yea bad excuse but I just haven’t really had time to update.

Anyway I’ll fill you in on what I’ve been up too. First of all, I bought WET on the PS3 expecting a fantastic Tarantino inspired running – gunning, hacking – slashing epic of a game. Instead, I got a mediocre game that I would be ashamed to pass off as a PS2 title. I’ll do a full (and pretty damn harsh) review tomorrow or Wednesday. In short, it’s been traded in come Saturday. What a load of tosh.

Secondly, I’ve been experimenting with a few more free-to-play games on the PC. I’ve been trying out League of Legends (Warcraft 3 inspired defence strategy game, which is surprisingly addictive, accessible and very good fun online) and have just downloaded Face of Mankind tonight which… well I know nothing about it but a few people have recommended it so I thought I’d get it. A friend said he’d walk me through it at some point this week so I’ll give an opinion on that soon.

Apart from that… Erm. Mass Effect 2 is making people giddy at college, Assassins Creed 2 is a hugely enjoyable game and Borderlands just never ends! Which is a good thing.

Monday, 18 January 2010

Silent Scope


Silent Scope was an Arcade game that involved the player taking on the role of a sniper. It played pretty much the same as other Arcade shooters such as House of the Dead, except the gun was mounted and within the snipers scope was a mini screen that showed an enlarged portion of the screen, creating the illusion that the player was zooming into the action on the screen. It was great, very fun to play and was quite revolutionary in terms of arcade game cabinets. Brilliant fun. Except, it would have been. If I didn’t have it on the Dreamcast. Or, if I had it on the Dreamcast and at least had a light gun.

Yes dear readers, I played this game using a fecking controller. That involved slowly scrolling around the screen, pressing L to make the scope view appear on the screen and shoot the enemies. Thinking about it now, it’s baffling that I persevered but for some reason my 12 year old self used to love it. I almost finished it as well, but missed the last shot and died. Can you believe that? I almost finished it.

I can barely get past the first island on GTA4 these days. It’s insane.

Sunday, 17 January 2010

Borderlands: Get One While They’re None Existent


There’s a severe Borderlands shortage in my city at the moment it seems. Today my Girlfriend and I went into town to buy it for the PS3 as she’s been after it for a while and we just couldn’t find it. Out of Game, Gamestation, HMV, Entertainment Exchange and Grainger Games found two copies. Two. One brand new (£40) and one pre-owned (£27).

Can you believe that? We checked all consoles as well, out of shock. Only two copies, both for PS3. It’s insane. It’s either a testament to how good the game is or the complete lack of copies that were produced…

Saturday, 16 January 2010

Assassins Creed 2

image I’ve been playing Assassins Creed 2 lately, in my attempt to conquer all of the games I got for Christmas (So far, The first God of War and Batman: Arkham Asylum have been clocked).

First impressions are good! I’ve only just got my hidden blade on memory sequence 2, and already I’m pretty hooked. I can’t claim that this is the best game ever or anything just yet. I’m having fun, but I’m not loving it. AC2 needs to be something very special in order to make me forgive it for the sins of the original.

Thursday, 14 January 2010

Uncharted 2: Game Of The Year, Game Of The Year.

IGN 2009 Game of the Year

I don't think I've ever cringed more before when watching a video. This has singlehandly ruined this game for me.

IGN's so cheesy!

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Either My Eyes Are Going, Or It’s Bad Game Design.


On Burnout Paradise there are three main ways to navigate Paradise City while in an event.

  1. Memorise the entire map. Which is impossible.
  2. The name of the street you are driving down at the time is displayed at the top of the screen. When you need to turn a corner, the street sign for said turn appears to the left (or right) of the screen. It flashes, and moves towards the canter. When it hits the middle and replaces the current street name, that’s when you turn.
  3. Keep looking at the mini map.

The best thing to do is a combination of all three, a hideously cruel task which I just cannot do at all. If I look at the top, I crash into the car in front of me. If I watch the mini map, I crash into a wall. If I just drive and keep checking the mini map, the top of the screen will flash, I’ll panic, and plough straight into a wall.

At first I thought this was bad game design, then I realised that I was really having to strain my eyes, so it’s probably just me…

It’s still bloody awkward though.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Uncharted 3: The Wrath Of The Gods


I just had an amazing idea for Uncharted 3. It could be a God of War inspired mythological quest to uncover the secrets of Pandora's Box or the quest to reach Olympus. You know, some kind of amazing Naughty Dog “Twisted History” story.

Anyway, the finale would see Drake flung into Hades itself, where he has to confront the thousands of mercenaries that he needlessly slaughtered! Suffice to say, it will be a powerful ending.

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Nintendo: My Relationship


Ahh Nintendo. We used to have so much fun, back in the day. I was young, I was naive. I let myself fall in love too quickly…

See, I loved Nintendo, and Nintendo broke my heart. Back in the day (between 1995 to 2008) we used to have so much fun together! Oh how we laughed when we played Mario Kart, how we shivered when we played Eternal Darkness, how we wooped when we played Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, how we cried when we played The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, how we gasped when we played Metroid Prime and how we realised just how strong our love was when we played Luigi’s Mansion

Then… then Nintendo changed. It presented me the Wii, this new invention that it was going to make me buy and at first it was excited and then… and then… I played it. Wii Sports, Wii Fit… where were the good old days? When we used to jump and laugh and kill Koopas? No Nintendo, when we used to kill Koopas without moving our hands around like a twat. Well I’ll tell you where they were, they were gone, hidden beneath an emulator that just made you feel dirty and wrong.

I left the Nintendo camp on the 30th August 2008 and you know what? I’ve never looked back. Not even once. Goodbye Nintendo. This is me, gaining closure.

Saturday, 9 January 2010

The Undead Are… Persuasive.


So, I’m actually enjoying Left 4 Dead 2 now. Wait, I’ve just realised I haven’t actually told you that I got bored of this… hang on I’ll quote myself so it looks like I did.

Left 4 Dead 2 is… I dunno. Everything about it is perfect! Everything about it is… unique, enhanced and beautiful, and yet I sit there looking at the clock and wondering when I can go back on Borderlands.

But now? Now I’m back into it. It’s a vast improvement over the original in terms of gameplay, but in terms of presentation and characterisation I still prefer the original. Still, what a game! All five campaigns are incredibly good fun to play and this is one game that you need to pick up in the January sales. You know, if you can get out the house yet because of all the snow.

Friday, 8 January 2010

Bayoneta TV Advert

Saw this on the TV today. I was only really interested to be honest because of the LaRoux. See, I've never really put much thought into this game, because to me it looked to much like a Japanese Devil May Cry (Which I could just never get away with) and... well have you seen the main protagonist? It's just... daft. Anyway, it's gotten near perfect reviews so far so... surely I should look into this?

Thursday, 7 January 2010



I got God of War Collection about a week ago, and I love it. It’s so… uncaring. I think that’s the best way to put it. It’s relentless in how much it throws at you. This is a very difficult game indeed.

I say uncaring, because you have to go for ages without save points or even health for that matter. Some minor bosses release health if you kill them in certain ways, and often that’s the only way to progress with relative ease. By killing a huge enemy in a complex and difficult way. It’s insane!

Great game though. I’m about half way through the first one and enjoying it immensely.

Wednesday, 6 January 2010

Left 4 Dead: NES



This is genius. A demake of Left 4 Dead on the NES. It’s incredible, and free to download! It’s not necessarily the most playable game ever made, but it’s good fun for about an hour.

Enjoy! Here’s the download link, and below a video to convince those who are not convinced.

Tuesday, 5 January 2010

Borderlands Is My Baby


I love Borderlands. It’s great.

I realised today while playing it, that I actually have a lot of patience when it comes to FPSRPGS. I don’t know why. With Fallout 3 I was the same. Enjoying playing it at my own pace, just taking it all in. It’s incredible.

Also, I love the whole weapon system on this game. It’s fantastic!

Do I have anything negative to say about this game? No. No I don’t.

Monday, 4 January 2010

The Dark Knight: "Batman Arkham Asylum” Review


This shouldn’t be good. In fact, this shouldn’t have ever even been made. This game defies the industry. This game is an abomination. This game is a licensed game of a long running franchise, based on a hugely successful graphic novel. This game does something it shouldn’t do.

This game is outstanding.


From it’s opening cut scene, this game establishes one very important thing. This is one for the fans. It doesn’t care about backstory or, introducing a load of awful new characters or locations. It sticks to it’s guns, and it does it well.

For all those who haven’t experienced the Batman universe before, shame on you. Recent Batman lore (forget anything to do with Robin) is dark, depressing and just gorgeous. It’s Gothic to it’s core, and if you’ve ever seen any of the most recent films (Batman Begins or the Dark Knight) or read any of the recent comics (Arkham Asylum, Joker, The Dark Knight Returns, The Killing Joke) then you know exactly what I’m talking about, and if I told you that this game is just as good as ALL of them, what would you say?

Arkham Asylum throws you straight into the action following a beautiful little opening section in which you and a group of guards escort the Joker into the depths of the intensive treatment ward. Straight away, you just know your playing something special. First off, it uses the Unreal Engine, which is perfect for the gritty world that is portrayed. Secondly, Batman handles like a dream. The controls are flawless, the combat inspired. Within four button taps, you could have grounded four thugs, one being with your Batarang. Thirdly, the voice acting is superb. Mark Hamill returns to play the Joker (which is my all time favourite version. Hamill’s performance is superb in representing the Joker as a twisted psychotic with a killer sense of humour). Batman is also perfectly cast. Lastly? The plotline is perfect, in that it’s simplicity is a breath of fresh air and it’s something we’re all comfortable with. The Joker takes over Arkham, you have to stop him. Do you need to know anymore?


But the real shining star of this epic, is of course the villains. The Joker, as mentioned before, steals the show but that’s not to say that his supporting players are simply overlooked. Rocksteady studios have chosen a small group of villains that slot perfectly within the story. There’s Bane, Killer Croc, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and the Scarecrow are all running loose and causing havoc in their own little way. Again, there’s nothing new about these characters. They’ve been left unaltered (apart from a few inspired costume changes) and are perfectly presented. Not only that, but all characters not present, are referenced all over Arkham (The Penguins umbrella is in a glass case, Mr. Freeze’s cell. In fact, it’s part of the game to find all these, cleverly called “The Riddler’s Challenges”). Personally, I found the scarecrows sections to be incredible. Subtly lodged within certain sections, you find yourself slowly descending into Batmans darkest fears without even realising it. It’s only until the camera goes wonky, or when something absolutely insane happens like suddenly Batman turns into a younger version of himself (with you still in control) crying over the corpses of his dead parents.

All in all, I think it’s pretty safe to say that Arkham Asylum is a damn good game. If you’re a fan of Batman, buy it now. If you’re not… then well maybe you should look into some of the other stuff before you pick this up but take my word for it, you will not be disappointed. If I had been clever and bought this when it had came out, I think it may have just had enough potential to give Uncharted 2 a run for it’s money.

Now that’s saying something.

Sunday, 3 January 2010

Burnout Paradise


I got the Burnout Paradise Ultimate Bundle off the PSN the other day, and I’ve been playing it quite a bit. There’s only word for it though. Huge.

This game has so much scale, it’s almost impossible to set yourself a starting point. I’ve basically jumped into this game after a few major updates, so now there’s three different starting points for me. Normal cars,  “Big Surf Island” cars and Bikes. There’s 250 races, missions and everything's open world. Also, there’s 98 trophies.

This game is huge, but I’m having loads of fun playing it.

Saturday, 2 January 2010

What A Way To End The Year…


The last game I played of 2009 was Wii Fit Plus with my parents and my sister.

Am I ashamed? Damn right I am. It’s awful.

And that has nothing to do with the fact that I was physically exhausted after twenty minutes of it

Friday, 1 January 2010

Would You Kindly, Have A Happy New Year?

New Year. New games. New Bioshock.