Friday, 31 July 2009

Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing

Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing has been hailed as the worst videogame ever, and to be honest it dosn't suprise me. A friend of mine once downloaded it for the crack, and my God did we laugh... for a LONG time.

I can't do this game justice of simply how terrible it is. So here's a video, and an accompying quote from a recent article on Games Radar.

Oh, and my opinion? If you've just bought a game that you think is terrible, give this a download. Big Rigs could put cancer into perspective.

“Stay one step ahead of the law”? The game didn’t ship with police included. “Race your modified rig”? It also forgot to ship with actual racing opponents. “5 different tracks”? When you try to load the fifth, the game crashes… and when the publisher released a patch to fix this issue, the fifth track was revealed as nothing but a mirrored version of the first. “Non-stop driving”? Sometimes, when starting a race, Big Rigs believes you’ve finished and rewards you with a congratulatory screen after five seconds. Genius!

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Link: The Later Years

It's not often I find a video on Youtube that, although may not make me laugh, but humours me on a personal almost nostalgic level. I guess I just got lucky with this little gem (not pun intended).

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Guilty Pleasures

Everyone has guilty pleasures. Whether it's having a fondness for Loose Women, (the program, not just easy females) , kids TV or... I dunno, maybe you like licking shoes.

Anyway, my major guilty pleasure is listening to Lilly Allen... on a regular basis.

This may not sound too strange, I mean she is awfully popular amongst the youth of today (ey, what what), but compared to my normal music taste it's a bit odd. See, I love bands such as the Super Furry Animals, Editors and the Smiths. THE SMITHS for Gods sake. Take a second to think of Morrisey and Lilly Allen. In a fight. To the Death. That doesn't help my point but it's a beautiful thought none the less... Who would win?

Another guilty pleasure of mine would be my obsession with game soundtracks (of which I'm going to base a blog on soon). Thing is, It's not just amazing videogame soundtracks like Mirrors Edge, Fallout 3 or the Orange box. As I sit here right now, I'm listening to the Sim City 3000 soundtrack for the FOURTH time today.

I also write books about fairy's with no wings.

Nah that last ones a lie.

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Garry's Mod

I first experienced a little mod that was referred to as "Garry's Mod" around two years ago when it was still in version 9, and quite frankly I fell in love. A quirky sandbox game that allowed you to spawn Zombies, tie up Kleiner with balloons and complete the whole of Half life 2 using watermelons? Yes please. So, as you can no doubt imagine, by the time that Garry's Mod 10 arrived I was truly addicted and the second it appeared I bought it.

Now as most of you have probably already discovered, I'm not exactly a brilliant gamer. I died on the last boss of Gears of War 2, could never get past the first mission on Fallout 3 and I just don't physically know how to play Civilisation properly and unfortunately, I've discovered that I don't even scrape the surface on Garry's Mod.

See, I like spawning ragdolls. Then I like making them do funny things. It keeps me amused for hours on end, and to a point where I used to frequently make Youtube films (until my Garry's Mod aslpoded). But then, while browsing nFortress, I realised that.... well there's so much more that I'd never even considered beyond making Mario and Masterchief bum each other. You can make spaceships that fly and have working teleporters, giant battle mechs with working guns and even entire towers made out crates. Then you have the additional game modes like Gmod Tower which are just... I mean watch that video. It's just incredible, the things you can do with this... hell you know what? I'm going to call it a tool, because let's face it, it is. A very very powerful one as well.

Hats off to you Mr. Newman, your mod is something to be marvelled at.

Monday, 27 July 2009

It's Super Dynamic Cooking Time!

Street Fighter + Mates = Endless Fun.

Can you disagree? Well yea probably, if you don't like Street Fighter and/or have no mates to play it with. But for those normal people amongst us, isn't it just great?

Me and a mate of mine were on Street Fighter 4 on the Xbox for ages yesterday, and despite the fact that we actually hated each other after about three matches in it was still great fun. There's just something almost childish about the way Street Fighter plays, whether it's the classic one versus one fighting, the cartoon graphics or just the epic Japanese cheese that spouts from every orafice. ("IT'S SUPER DYNAMIC COOKING TIME!" being the prime example.).

Oh, and as far as all you guys are concerned. I won. Eveytime.


Sunday, 26 July 2009

Videogame Cliché's - No 104: The Toilet Lurker

It's a cliché that we all know and love, whether it's the Ganados that's misusing his privileges by hiding in chief Mendez's toilet in Resident Evil 4, the countless Russians doing the deed in Goldeneye or the more than lovable Johnny the IBS sufferer in Metal Gear Solid. It's funny, it's disgusting and yet at the same time, it's something that we've all come to expect from games. If we see a toilet, we get ready to fight.

However, it seems as though the golden age of toilet humour may finally be at an end. Having recently explored most of Fallout, I have discovered a truly terrifying truth. All of the toilet cubicles, are empty. Not even a radroach in sight. It doesn't just end at Fallout either, even titles which have a slight sense humour behind them in general such as Saints Row and Crackdown show a complete absence of defecation related lulz. Some games, such as Metal Gear Solid 4, have even tried to revolutionise this concept by showing the original toilet hider himself, Johnny, shitting himself straight into his trousers in a public place. What has this world come too?

The point of this rather vulgar contribution? I want to see a return of this cliché, which i regard as highly as the red barrels and health packs.

Saturday, 25 July 2009

Summer Time!

Ah the summer time! It's warm! It's great! Also, Summer rhymes with "Street Fighter 4" and "Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga"! Honestly, it does. If you don't believe me then you're just not saying them right.

Anyway, I bought these two games for the Xbox the other day for a tenner (a mighty fine deal if you ask me), but I'd also just bought inFamous, Battlefield 1943, Wipeout HD: Fury, the original two Fallout games and of course had just started playing Fallout 3.

This is probably the main reason I haven't been blogging as much lately. I've just had so many games to play that I didn't even wanna talk about them.

So basically, expect a ton of reviews coming your way over the next few days. Well, probably weeks.

And I'll end this review, with a bit of a controversial statement.

inFamous is clearly better than Prototype.


Friday, 24 July 2009

A Post Nuclear Role Playing Game


So where was I.... Jesus Christ! It's the 24th June!?!?! I overslept for an ENTIRE MONTH?


Anyway hi guys! Well what can I say. I've obviously been busy this past month! Been.. well doing stuff xD

So, let's get started. May I cast your minds all the way back to this post? Back in April, I attempted to start Fallout 3 for the second time and gave up around an hour in. At that point, I boisterously announced that I hated Fallout 3, that it was nothing more than Oblivion with guns and with my head up my own arse wandered off to finish Resident Evil 5 for the bazilionth time.

Then last week, a mate of mine was staying over and he brought with him his copy of Fallout 3 and continued from his save. It was at this point I realised what I was missing, and forced myself to trudge through the first few hours of gameplay. Well ladies and gents, I can now officially announce that the trudging paid off big time. Fallout 3 is by far one of the best games of this generation, even if the first three hours or so of gameplay are slower than Parkinson trying to run down an escalator. It's RPG goodness, Sci Fi splendour and all round good old hearty fun.

Ahhh, could I be any more of a hypocrite when it comes to gaming? I think not, but I'm also starting to treat it as a compliment!