Friday, 22 May 2009

Top 5 Worst Videogame Quotes

So after a recent discussion it's been decided that from now on, pretty much once every week unless something seriously important comes up like Valve releasing the next Half Life game in a  toaster, I'll be making a short but simple top 5 list covering various topics and of course, reeking of personal opinion, and what a better topic to start on than God awful dialogue from our favourite games!

Of course, these go from worst to best ;)

1) "SHINE GET!" - Mario Sunshine (Gamecube)

Ok, so a lot of people won't agree with this but this has always been a pet peeve of mine. For a game that had been in development for so long, surely Nintendo could have translated such an important piece of dialogue a little... more professionally? 

2) "I might need you to play Twing Twang" - Heavenly Sword (PS3)

Not only was this line so utterly ridiculous but combined with the horrendously serious cutscene it appeared in, I'm not surprised if about half the owners of this game just turned it off by the plug. Twing Twang? This is a game about a freaking female version of Kratos, why the hell would she want to play a game called Twing Twang? I think one of the worst things about this was also because Sony deemed this one of the best games on the console... Pfffft

3) "Do you believe that love can bloom, even on the battlefield?" - Metal Gear Solid (Playstation One)

Now, don't get me wrong. I adore Metal Gear Solid, but my GOD does it have some of the worst cases of dialogue ever seen in video games. 90% of the time, the games so pretentious and stuck up it's own arse it's inside out. This quote, which actually makes me physically cringe everytime I hear it, is one of the worst. 

4) "I see the president has armed his daughter with... Ballistics now" - Resident Evil 4 (Gamecube)

Christ,  does this one even need an explanation? It's so out of the blue and just so random that it never ceases to make me laugh. God bless Capcom, believing that they can sneak in a cheeky chebs joke without breaking the flow of the story. Unfortunately however, they believed wrong.

5) "You were almost a Jill sandwich!" - Resident Evil (Playstation 1)

There are a plethora of quotes from this classic title that I could have used, but "Jill sandwich" is certainly the most humorous. A close second would of course the epicness of "Master of Unlocking" and that line about Chris's blood. I don't know what Capcom were thinking when they wrote this, or for that matter when they hired the voice actors, or when they released it! Still, it adds to the fact that this is still a pure joy to play.


  1. Jill sandwich *Eyebrows up and down*

  2. Why is "Show me your moves!" not in there
    god I hate the way captain falcon says that on super smash bro's brawl...