Wednesday, 14 January 2009

This Little Duck Hates Far Cry 2


Hey. Names Terrance. How you doing.


Before I start, let’s establish something. I’m a Duck. Not only am i a Duck however, I also play games. The thing is though, Duck’s are natural haters of everything (it’s true, Google it). I hate ponds, I hate dry land, I hate flying, but most of all I hate nearly every game I ever play. I’m like Yahtzee from zero punctuation, only I have a beak. Some say I'm nothing more than a metaphorical character created to release hidden hatred for videogames from someone else, but I think that’s bullshit.


So lately I’ve been playing Far Cry 2. Oh lord do I have problems with it. A lot of problems. For starters why is it that everyone seems to want to shoot me, and I mean everyone. I can’t drive four fucking feet before getting my face shot of by around 15 men who have been chilling at a bloody checkpoint all day, even though there’s another checkpoint about three foot up the road. It’s stupid. Also, they don’t like to die and my gun likes to jam. And fire likes to burn me. Ouch.


Also, the people on this game talk really fast. It’s like they can’t stop talking otherwise they’ll die. But then they do stop. And they don't die. Which is disappointing, because the missions they send me on are so repetitive I want them to drop down dead just to add a bit of variety.


The multiplayer's weak, all the vehicles are the same speed and always end up exploding, it crashes a lot, the buddy system works but has limited animations and the whole game is full of unlikeable characters. Also It’s made by Ubisoft.


I may post again, but it’s hard to type with wings. I do have a lot to say about Left 4 Dead however.





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