Five Things That Are Better Than Sims 3 On Consoles

So The Sims 3 was confirmed for consoles today. Here are things that I deem better than this news.

1) Rectal cancer.

2) My inevitable mortality.

3) Red Steel. (Seriously).

4) The sounds of tiny children crying.

5) Sonic the Hedgehog.

Seriously though. They’re claiming it’s going to be identical to the PC version. How? There’s no mouse on an Xbox. Or on a Playstation. Oh, and before you say Wii slap yourself round the face will you? Come on. Seriously. It’ll be like Diet Sims.

Now, I may sound like I’m jumping to conclusions here but considering how God awful past console incarnations of the Sims were… do you blame me? Thought not.

Still, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt for now!

I’m kidding of course. I’m extremely prejudiced.

I Got Me Some Pocket Men

Ended up getting Pokémon Heart Gold for pretty much free! So the moral of the story is wait and you’ll get a cheap Pokémon game… maybe..

Anyway I’ve played it for about an hour and a half so far and already I'm extremely impressed. Graphics are lovely, game play is the same (but hey, if it aint broke!) and the Pokéwalker is actually a really well made little peripheral. Will I use it? Maybe. Maybe.

Anyway, more news that’s not related to Pokémon tomorrow.

The Passing - Review

So, I’ve finally played the Passing. Did I enjoy it? Well… that’s difficult to answer.

In some ways I was impressed. The new weapons actually bring some new flavour into the game (The M60 is incredibly fun to use), the actual level design of the campaign is really well executed and, as always, has a lot of replay value and there are a lot of really nice features like footlockers full of pills/Molotov's/pipe bombs, the Bride witch (and wedding guest zombies!) and the new Survivor uncommon common which adds this really interesting new dynamic to the game. Need health? Pipe Bomb? Pills? Quick! Get the Survivor! He even runs away, forcing you to back track in order to get him.

What didn’t I like? The original cast. Valve had so much potential with the original cast being present within The Passing but they’ve really let themselves down. You see one of them at the very beginning… and then you see three of them at the very end. Oh, and as for who dies…

SPOILERZZZ

Bill dies. How? Fuck if I know. He’s just slumped against a generator. There’s no explanation and there’s not even any remorse or even sadness shown from the remaining three. They’re just their normal everyday happy go lucky selves. Just minus Bill. Really upsetting.

NO MORE SPOILERZZZ

Apart from the tacked on original cast, I really enjoyed The Passing. However, If I’d had to pay for it, I would have fucking lost it.

Five Things That Have Been On My Mind Today

1) Goddamn Valve, you are very good at making promo videos and launch trailers. I take my hat off to you, fine sirs and ladysirs. However, I have no intention of playing The Passing until the weekend. I apologise.

2) Why is Perfect Dark so goddamn hard on the… hardest difficulty? It took me three hours of solid playing to get past the first level. I hate old games, yet love them in equal measure. Damn you Rare.

3) Why isn’t Pokémon free? Also, why haven’t governments checked this game for mind control? Why do I want it so much? It’s embarrassing!

4) Should I put Ads on my blog? I suppose it would look a little less flash, but it’s free money and I like that idea.

5) Why hasn’t Sony came over and fixed my PS3 yet? It seems that the gaming God’s have forbidden me from ever finishing GTA4.

Perfect Dark: CLOCKED

Finally finished the remake of Perfect Dark today and phwooooarrr is it good. Like seriously, it’s lick your lips in ecstasy good. Well, the level design is perfect, the music is spot on, the weapons are completely innovate and really fun to use and it has that lovely Rare fluidity about it which just makes it fantastic to pick up and play every time.

However, the story is absolute shite. There’s nine chapters, with about three missions in each, and I have no clue whatsoever as to what was going on. Seriously. I could make a rough guess, but I’d literally be guessing. It’s so badly crafted it’s laughable. Also, the voice acting is really terrible as well. Perfect Dark was unfortunately made in a generation that didn’t take things like voice acting too seriously, therefore Joanna Dark may have the body and the talent of a international super secret agent, but she has the voice of a fourteen year old girl which is just… ew.

As a remake though, it’s extremely faithful to the original game.

Anyway, I’m certainly going to pick up a copy of Perfect Dark Zero this weekend, just ‘cos I can innit. Mainly because I want to know why she’s ginger in this one but brunette in the original. Also my PS3 is still dead and I need something else to play.

Oh, and Valve did confirm the release date for Left 4 Dead 2 DLC on the PC yesterday. It’s coming out tomorrow for free. Linkage!

Good Zombies, Bad Zombies and Capcom Is Just Genuinely Awesome.

THE GOOD ZOMBIES

Dead Rising 2 is to feature co-op play. This is win for so many reasons. Mainly because having you and a mate running round like nutters killing thousands of Zombies using anything sounds to me, like my perfect game. Not just my perfect Zombie game, but my favourite game, period. Release date’s in September. I can’t wait!

THE BAD ZOMBIES

Left 4 Dead 2 is finally getting it’s first piece of DLC, The passing, this Thursday on Xbox. It has loads of awesome features, and of course includes the original survivors. Read that again. Yes, I only said Xbox and that’s not a typo I’m afraid. It just hasn’t been confirmed for PC yet. Oh Valve. Why. What’s happened to you?

CAPCOM IS JUST GENUINELY AWESOME

I don’t even have to explain why this the best thing I’ve seen all day. Chris Redfield fighting the Hulk? Oh God yes.

What Happens After The Hero Rescues The Princess?

It’s finally been explained, and it makes so much sense! /sexism