Original Dungeon Keeper

Original Dungeon Keeper Has Moved!

2010-09-08T18:34:00.005+01:00

Sadly, the Original Dungeon Keeper you see before you is no more...

Well not in it's current form anyway! I've moved the site over to some Webspace that had a whole lot of space going spare, so that I can start writing this delightful little online supplement professionally.

Or some other bollocks like that.

Hope to see you over at www.originaldungeonkeeper.info soon :)

Liam

Sneaky Sneaky

2010-07-04T23:45:00.001+01:00

I’ve been playing a lot of “Stealth” games recently. I say “Stealth” in inverted commas because the first game I’ve been playing is Metal Gear Solid 2 and it’s not necessarily the most hardcore sneak ‘em up in the world. Still the best game ever made though.

Secondly, I’ve been playing Splinter Cell: Conviction, a game so surprisingly good that I’m going to absolutely bum it to bits at the next opportunity.

Singularity

2010-06-28T22:50:00.001+01:00

A time warping, puzzle-shooter with more depth in narrative than Bioshock and more revolutionary shooting techniques than… Oh I dunno Killzone.

Why isn’t this being advertised? it looks amazing.

Is There Any Point To Motion Control?

2010-06-27T23:52:00.001+01:00

Face it, you’ve already made your decision. What with all the advertising that’s been splattered throughout game shops and on websites since E3, I would be surprised if you haven’t already made your mind up about Kinect or Move. You either love it, or you hate it. Simple as that. But have you asked yourself perhaps the most important question? Don’t look confused. Behind the shiny tech demos there’s a question that needs answering. The Wii has so far failed to reach it’s full potential in terms of hardcore games, and thus it’s up to Kinect and Move to prove to gamers, what is the point in motion control, and does it even have any form of benefit to gamers?

The Wii is dead. It’s gone, and we all know it. There’s no more innovation left in the old girl. She’s tired, she’s had a day and now she’s going to sit the rest of her life out regurgitating Carnival Games and games that end with Z’s instead of S’s. Even the pure, first party games lack any sort of pop that was promised when the Wii was first revealed. It’s limited form of motion control is boring, and we no longer care. However with Kinect and Move, we have the finally have the opportunity to combine top of the range motion control kit, with HD graphics and in Sony’s case, 3-D. Are these a match made in gaming heaven, or a gimmick worthy of the Red Steel award for shittyness?

Lets think of it firstly, in a positive light. Games with motion control are fun. I remember first getting my Wii on launch day. I loved it. I stayed up all night, and for the majority of the day after, playing Wii Sports and of course Zelda: Twilight Princess. I remember thinking “God, this is it. This works, it’s what we all needed!”. Move promises to do everything the Wii can’t. Precise, handheld devices attached to a high definition console. Sony’s controllers are the Wii HD, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. With the quality of games coming out for the PS3 at the moment, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see some innovate and original IP’s being revealed this year exclusive for Move that are actually worth buying. Considering the price of the console and the controllers, it’s also a given that we won’t be seeing the likes of Carnival Games HD anytime soon either.

However it’s Kinect that’s the most intriguing of the two. Controller free gaming is still, even one year on from it’s initial reveal, mind boggling. Kinect gives developers free reign over anything they would want to do. You only need to look at the Star Wars tech demo from E3, to understand that developers are no longer just limited to two controllers, but your entire body. There is no limit to what they could do, and I’ll be the first to say that I expect us to be constantly shocked by what Kinect games will be offering us in the near future. Running, jumping, kicking, punching, shooting, swimming… It’s all there. Most importantly, this free reign means that the potential for quality, hard core titles is higher than it ever was on the Wii. No more on rails shooters folks, Kinect offers us the real deal.

However, what both these devices have failed to show us so far, is any decent titles. True, the potential is present, but that’s all we have. The potential for something truly groundbreaking is coming, but until we see it in action all we have to go on is speculation. At E3 this year, both Microsoft and Sony failed to make any lasting impressions in terms of titles. Sony showed a few rough and tumble tech demos and that Ratchet and Clank…. thing but apart from that the only memorable title was that Dead Space Extraction was coming to the Ps3 with move support. A port of a Wii game? Not a good start Sony. At all. What potential is there for innovation, when already you’re porting over on-rails shooters from a less powerful console? For shame.

Kinect was also suffering from Wii fever, with Kinect Sports, that river rafting game, a dancing… dance… Oh God it bores me to even think about it. Kinect showed off a lot of awesome tech demos, but it showed nothing but Wii Clones in terms of releasable titles. At least Playstation Move had the common decency to not patronise it’s market with Wii Sports on the Ps3. Kinect showed us childish, colourful, fun filled party games, titles we’ve already seen hundreds of times before on the Wii. Microsoft were alienating it’s market, and this is where the alarm bells should be starting to ring. The Wii showed of a lot of hardcore titles upon it’s release, but 90% of them turned out to be nothing more than tech demos. Should we be giving Kinect and Move then benefit of the doubt, or is it a given that history is about to repeat itself?

I want to like motion controllers. I really want to like Kinect, especially, because I can honestly see myself jumping around my living room, holding my arm like a shotgun barking orders and my team mates as I storm an office building, shooting terrorists. I know it can be done, because all of the technology present at E3 proved that it was possible. Yet, I see nothing of the sort being shown to me. No upcoming titles, not even a tech demo. Where’s the hardcore market Microsoft?

As for Sony… nyergh. Move is such a shameless Wii clone that I can’t even begin to describe my disgust for it. As long as I don’t see “MOVE COMPATIBLE” on Uncharted 3, I’ll happily let it die in a corner. I don’t mind pointless gimmicks being present, just as long as they don’t suffocate me from all aspects of my gaming experience.

In short, Motion control has the potential of becoming something brilliant. Sensational, even. If Microsoft and Sony play their cards right they could have something seriously innovate in the works. In the meantime? I’m sceptical. What they’ve shown us so far is just HD Wii games, and I can’t see that as being acceptable six months or a year into it’s release. Will we see some quality hardcore titles that benefit? Only time will tell. Until then, keep your money in a safe place, because you could well just make a decision that you’ll either appreciate making, or regret for a long time to come.

Haters Be Hatin’ (Also, Don’t Tell Anyone This, But I Can’t Get Away With Mass Effect)

2010-06-26T23:40:00.001+01:00

I’ve received two comments recently that made me want to respond to them in an angry, angsty way. So I’m going to.

The first was this one, on my last post regarding the new Xbox 360 Slim:

Dude :L

I don't know what kind of Xbox gamers you've been looking at, but I only know one person whose anything like what you're talking about and he's fat and everyone hates him.

I know PLENTY of PS3 owners who would argue that LittleBigPlanet is better than life itself, let alone Gears Of War.

You are biased :Z
I do not like this blog anymore.

First of all. Biased? Please look at these two images. I will label them Fig.1 and Fig.2:

Fig.1: My PS3 collection, I count eleven games.

Fig.2: My Xbox Collection. Trust me, it makes my PS3 weep.

This year is going to be an incredible year for Xbox, and already it’s surfaced as a console that has a solid grounding within the industry. All generations have at least one that defines the medium. Once upon a five years ago it was the Ps2. Now, it’s the Xbox 360.

I love my Xbox. As a console it’s superb, and in comparison with my Ps3 which is still broken, it’s proven to be more faithful.

I’m not being biased my dear, I'm being critical. It’s what I do. I’m an opinionated teenage web logger. It’s not my purpose to just accept things for what the majority believes them to be.

And if you can’t take a bit of criticism? Well then perhaps it’s better for you to go elsewhere. Meanwhile I’ll be playing Alan Wake, Crackdown 2 and Heavy Rain, enjoying the best of both worlds.

Next up!

Last time I checked, past two years Sony have had more exclusives than Microsoft...you know if you actaully delve around and find stuff out.

Yea, for the past two years Sony have had more exclusives than Microsoft. I fail to see your point? This year Sony showed off far less than Microsoft in terms of hard hitting, action packed exclusives that got the crowd going. In fact if i’m being honest, both companies had very little to show off in terms of exclusives. They certainly didn’t show us anything we didn’t already know about.

Moving on!

I’ve been trying to so hard to play Mass Effect. I’ve been trying to get through it for a fortnight and today I finally decided I couldn’t, and I have to give up.

Now before you start laying on the hate, I appreciate how God damn amazing Mass Effect truly is. As a game, it’s superb. Damn near perfect, with it’s incredible graphics, innovate game play mechanics, fully realised, atmospheric settings and believable (albeit, alien) characters. Not only that, but it’s the best RPG game I’ve ever played, to boot.

But I can’t get away with it, because it’s too deep. See, when I first play RPG’s they need to do two things. They need to introduce character, settings and narrative within the first hour in order to make me want to play for the next fifty, and secondly they need to clearly explain how I play it properly like any other game would. A tutorial mission, or a training session, for example. Not hidden away within the behemoth that is Mass Effects “Codex” section.

See, my problem is that Mass Effect has so much going for it, that you need to read about half of it within the previously mentioned codex section for it to make any sense. For most people that’s fine, great even, but it’s not for me. I can’t necessarily enjoy games that present me with such a mammoth task. It’s why I’ve never been a fan of RPG’s.

Combine it with the lengthy dialogue sections and I just had to raise my arms in defeat. I want to like Mass Effect. Hell, everyone else does and I can see why they do. There’s just something inside me that says it’s not worth it. I can appreciate why it's so good. I can see why it’s received so much critical acclaim. In fact I’ll be the last person to say I dislike it. However, I will be the first person to say that I don’t have the time, nor the patience for it.

Still, it took me three attempts to get past Megaton on Fallout 3, and I eventually learnt to love that…

There’s always hope, folks.

Leave your hate within the comments section below.

Xbox Fanatics

2010-06-23T20:10:00.001+01:00

I was in Game today pre-ordering Crackdown 2 and there was about six people in the queue in front of me. Every single one of them, was putting deposits down for the new Xbox 360 Slim. This isn’t necessarily an odd occurance, it’s just that every single one of them was trading in all their old Xboxes to pay for it, and only getting a third of the asking price of the new one. This one guy was trading in an original 360, two controllers AND 19 games in order to pay for it. “These are all my games!” he said laughing. What the hell is he expecting to play on the damn thing when he gets it?

It made me realise that with Xbox Live, Xbox exclusives like Halo and new stuff like the Xbox 360 Slim, Microsoft has created a devout following of gamers. Literally. Xbox is a cult, a cult of fanatics. The kind of people who queue up to buy Halo Wars, and who have never missed a payment of Xbox Live since it’s release. The worst thing is the fanboyism. Like it or not, Xbox owners are the worst kind of gamers (second only to those who make those kind of comments… like me). They’ll argue to high heaven about how Gears of War is so much better than LittleBigPlanet even though they’re two completely different formulas, and PS3 owners don’t even try to retaliate, even though I know you will do so with humour , because they will point their fingers and call you a fag.

Personally I like to act as a middleman.

And argue with myself.

The Games I Need To Play – Summer 2010

2010-06-20T22:57:00.001+01:00

So as you’ve probably realised, I haven’t been blogging lately. I started my job on Wednesday. My full time job, to be precise, meaning I haven’t really had the time to do anything of late. Still, I’ve reached the point now where I’m going to be able to blog more frequently for the first time in months. Understandably, this isn’t the perfect, daily updates of yore but hey I do the best with what I’m given.

Today, I’m going to tell you the games I’m desperate to play, and probably will be playing when I get my first paycheck. Mainly these are games that have been released, with the exception of one:

I haven’t mentioned yet just how much I need to play Red Dead Redemption. Although it never even warranted so much as a single post during it’s development, I couldn’t help be caught up in the hype surrounding it’s release. It wasn’t the bland linear western shoot-em-up I expected. Instead, it’s a fully released free roaming western epic, in the same leagues as one of my all time favourites, Gun. What is it about the wild west that makes game developers shine?

Oh come of it. I know it’s been out for ages, and I know everyone knows who the killer is blah, blah, blah. Tell me something I don’t know. I’m a sucker for games with an incredible narrative, so leave me to play it in peace will you? Please? Yea. Shut the door on the way out while your at it. Your bitterness has made me cold.

If you’re a frequent visitor you’ll probably know how much I enjoyed Crackdown. A God-damn lot is the answer you’re looking for, and the sequel looks to be even better. This little beauty will be finding it’s way into my Xbox the day it comes out.

To reiterate, I’m a sucker for narrative driven games. Alan Wake certainly looks to be one of the better ones as well. Great atmosphere, great setting for an immersive plot. Yea, looks like my kind of game.

If there’s anything you think I’m missing out, new or old, make sure you let me know in the comments below!

E3 2010 - Opinions

2010-06-16T00:08:00.001+01:00

So all the conferences are over with I think. At least all the major ones. Nintendo, Microsoft and Sony have stepped up to the bench and tried to tickle our fancies in order to win the quite prestigious title of “Biggest Balls In LA”. Who won this year? Well to be honest I think my hearts went back to Nintendo. A little bit. They’ve managed to present some new tech that didn’t instantly appeal to the casual market. “Here’s our new console guys” they said, “and this is for you Liam”. Metal Gear Solid 3D, Resident Evil 3D… to be perfectly honest I was impressed. Especially by the actual handheld. The 3-D is actually incredibly impressive. Still, early days and it was only a video. Anyway, I’m now gonna go in great detail about every major conference because I’m a nerd.

Microsoft

In general, the Microsoft conference was very poor. Kinect (Project natal) was focused upon far too much, with Microsoft pushing towards a casual market and completely alienating it’s hardcore fanbase in the process. We don’t care about Kinectimals or whatever the it’s called guys. Yea, it might be good for our kids or nephews or… oh wait they have Wii’s. Yea. They don’t care either. Really. Sorry.

The conference picked up a bit when the real games started coming through. Gears of War 3 Co-Op is looking good, as it the campaign of Halo Reach. Fable 3 is… Fable 3 (still) and the Xbox is getting COD exclusive DLC… still. So… nothing new really. Crytek’s new game looks promising of course, but apart from that the Xbox has a rather underwhelming line up of same old, same olds.

Of course, the Xbox slim was the highlight of the show. A new console which looks to me like an Alienware laptop had sex with Bill Gates… and produced something beautiful. It looks to be a top notch piece of kit. They’ve even sorted out the red ring. It’s only been five years guys. Will I be buying one? No, but as it’s the same price as the current models it certainly is tempting.

Nintendo

A new E3, a new DS. It’s became a bit of a tiresome tradition to be perfectly honest with you, but at least this year they did things a little differently. No casual shit heaps, just pure hardcore nuggets of wonderment (no one dare steal that. Ever). The lineup is… well it’s already got more potential for classics than the Wii currently has with four years under it’s tiny casual belt. Resident Evil, Metal Gear Solid, Kid Icarus, Mario Kart, Animal Crossing, Starfox 64, Zelda 64… Remember when the DS was announced and all the hype surrounding hardcore games was at it’s peak? Well Nintendo are finally delivering. It’s probably not acceptable, but I’m going to forgive them. Purely for the graphics on the damn thing. Way to step up your game Nintendo! Seriously. Well done.

Other highlights included the announcement of Zelda: Skyward Sword (about time) and Epic Mickey (looking good). However, I can’t say 'I’m so sure about Goldeneye Wii. Seems a bit of a stupid idea if you ask me. A “reimaging” of a classic? Come on, surely Pierce Brosnon would have popped his head into a recording studio if you paid him a little bit more than you paid Mr. Craig? No? Fair enough.

Sony

OK so Sony started off poorly as well, to be perfectly honest. Move? Don’t care. Heroes on the Move? Oh come on Sony… you can do a little better than that can’t you? 3D, blah blah blah, yea we get it you make 3D Bravias. No we won’t buy them. Ah right here we go. Games.

Killzone 3 is looking smooth, Grand Turismo is looking gorgeous… is that it for exclusives? Oh Ok fair enough. Playstation Plus seems like a fair deal. For the same price as Xbox Live you get free games and other cool content? Automatic downloads of demos, themes, wallpapers… yea that’s pretty cool. Not for me but hey it’s there I suppose.

Now Sony’s third party aspects really impressed me today. First of all the amount of exclusives EA are offering is just… lovely. Yea, that’s a good word for it. Lovely. Dead Space 2 will come with Dead Space Extraction. For free. With move support. Sorted! Medal of Honour will come with a HD remake of Medal of Honour Frontline. Bargain! Sony have secured the Assassins Creed 2 multiplayer Beta. Bravo! However can you top that. Oh, Portal 2 is coming to Ps3 and will be their best version. Oh Gabe you cheeky, chubby bitch. I love you. Whatever they paid you I’ll give you double.

Still doesn’t change the fact you have barely any exclusives though Sony. Tut tut.

As I said, overall E3 was a bit disappointing. Still, it’s always nice to have some fresh news eh?

Halo 3: What If It Wasn’t Halo?

2010-06-05T11:53:00.000+01:00

I finished Halo 3 today. It’s taken me… a year. Yea. Round about a year. I hate Halo, I think it’s boring. The problem is I’m the only person in the world who seems to hold this view apart from people who hate it for the sake of being different (but secretly love it anyway).

So I’ve decided to write a review for Halo, but in a different way. I’ve decided to write a review for Halo in a universe where Halo 1 + 2 were never made. Instead, Halo 3 was a standalone Xbox 360 game that was released to an audience that had never played any of the previous instalments in the series. Obviously I won’t mention the story elements because that would be silly, of course the narrative wouldn’t make sense. Instead, I’m focusing purely on game play. Enjoy, and please, no hate mail.

Original Dungeon Keeper Reviews: “PURPLE SCI-FI SHOOTER”

I finished PSS today. It’s taken me… a year. Yea. Round about a year.

I picked up PSS when I first got my Xbox because a mate of mine said the online was OK. Not as good as Gears of War or Modern Warfare but OK. It was cheap, so I decided to give it a go.

Upon booting up the main campaign It was instantly clear that this wasn’t going to be the greatest gaming experience of my life. It’s main character “Conventional Protagonist 1” handled like any other FPS character from Playstation era. He even jumps really high, something I thought they’d gotten rid of along with “Bullet Time”. This may seem like a minor complaint, but perhaps I’ve just been spoiled with the realistic movements of Soap Mc.Tavish, swaying left and right as he runs and bending his knees as he jumps. In comparison, CP1 may as well be a cardboard cut out with a camera attached to him.

After running through a jungle area I encountered by first enemies. Tiny, dwarf things that ran around shouting comments that even a five year old would cringe at. Still, all is fair in love and war so I pulled out my gun and pulled the trigger. My gun, what initially appeared to be a machine gun, may as well have been a super soaker full of piss. Flimsy little thing, it spat out bullets and laid waste to the creature in front of me in a way that was as exciting as an episode of the antiques road show. Again, this may seem like a minor complaint but the gun looked so conventional that the mere fact that it gave no satisfaction to fire whatsoever meant that it basically added insult to injury in doing so. In a desperate attempt to gain some enjoyment out of what I presumed was going to be my major pastime throughout the course of the game, I scrounged the corpses for some alien weaponry. Instead of some kind of devastating corpse creator, I picked up something clearly made my Tomy. It was purple, with bits of green taped on. Upon pulling the trigger it fired… green laser… balls. I put my head into my hands and sighed. Did they seriously think this work? Did they shred the big book of videogame clichés and mash it up into a game disc? Still. Like the brave little trooper I am, I carried on.

What followed was ten levels of shooting, terrible level design, unoriginal enemies (Shoot this one in the back, this ones slightly tougher than that one, this ones a token undead enemy, etc.) and really uninspired driving sections. Even the locations were dull and failed to make me take any interest in their importance whatsoever. PSS was a boring, sloppy and uneventful game that has failed to impress me one little bit. As an FPS it’s boring. As a Game, it’s completely dull.

Oh, and that Multiplayer my friend was talking about? It consists of super soakering your enemies until they get close enough to you, then you melee them so they die. That’s how you play it. Seriously.

What I Love About… Dead Space

2010-06-03T23:38:00.001+01:00

Dead Space, the survival horror extravaganza that made me poo myself more times than a laxative pie, has many fantastic aspects to it that make it a brilliant game. It’s unique dismemberment style game play, it’s fantastic voice acting and it’s life like animations, to state but a few. However, in my opinion it’s the location of the game, the USG Ishimura that is it’s greatest feature.

What strikes me as the most spectacular aspect of the game is that it holds up as one of the greatest piece of sci-fi gaming to date. The ship and everything within it functions perfectly, and creates an almost industrial atmosphere, bringing with it feelings of depression and suffocation. Refusing to adhere to conventional sci-fi representations of space ships, Dead Space shows a ship that could be created today. Things are rusty, things break. Perhaps most impressively, every room serves a purpose that is believable to the player. A testament to excellent game designing.

Just like Bioshock’s Rapture, the Ishimura holds one quality that makes it exceptionally impressive. You can imagine how it was before the necromorphs took over. You can imagine people working, interacting, living within it’s walls. That, is what I love about it most of all.

Ratchet & Clank, Counter Strike and Mario

2010-06-02T01:08:00.000+01:00

Since I last blogged I’ve became completely obsessed with the original Ratchet & Clank Games. I’ve finished Ratchet Gladiator so far and now I’m currently working my way from the start. I’ve done them in a bit of a strange order but screw it I’m enjoying myself.

I’ve also been playing Counter Strike and erm… well I’ve been doing OK at it. Which is something I never thought I’d say. I’ve playing it on and off over the last few days.

Finally how beautiful is this video please?

Expect more regular updates from here on in.

Are The Glory Days Of Exclusive Partnerships Coming To An End?

2010-05-25T22:55:00.001+01:00

Today, Insomniac Games (The guys and gals behind the original Spyro games, Ratchet and Clank and the Resistance series) announced they had made a deal with EA and are going to start developing games for multiplatform release.

As Bungie announced their multiplatform deal with Activision earlier this month, I can’t help but feel that the glory days of exclusive, console specific partnerships are finally coming to an end. But is this necessarily a bad thing?

In today's economic climate, single console companies just can’t make the money they need to continue making games anymore (Bungie being an exception because… well… Halo.) Therefore I just can’t blame them for spreading themselves out a little. Lets face it, if your games available for two consoles you’re going to get more money.

So am I shocked, surprised or angry by Insomniacs deal? I’m sorry to say I’m not. Personally, I wish them good luck and all the best at EA. I’m sure their new IP will be as fun filled, as action packed and as visually impressive as every other high quality title they’ve ever produced.

Just as long as Ratchet & Clank stays on PS3 though.

A Pet Peeve: Credits

2010-05-24T22:58:00.001+01:00

You know what I hate? When you’re playing an incredible, generation defining title such as Halo 3 or God of War 3 and you reach a cut scene. An epic event takes place, the action reaches fever pitch, the protagonist / villain says one absolutely awesome line, the music reaches a crescendo and suddenly everything stops. No visuals, no music. Just darkness. You grip the controller, your fingers curl around the important buttons. You’re ready, you’re desperate to continue and then…. Credits.

It’s the worst feeling EVER.

E3 2010: 15th –17th June

2010-05-23T12:20:00.000+01:00

With E3 only weeks away, I should probably start getting ready to drool over everything that’s about to happen. It’s a dead cert that this is going to be a very interesting year, albeit a year of the sequels. Although it’s going to be amazing watching as this years blockbusters , such as inFamous 2 and LittleBigPlanet 2, are finally revealed but I can’t help but feel there’s not going to be many original IP’s present at this years expo.

I mean, there’s the obvious Bulletstorm but what else? Will Bungie be unveiling their new Activision project? Probably not, especially with Halo Reach being present.

Still, Assassins Creed 3 is all they need to reveal and I’ll be very very very happy indeed.

Viva Piñata

2010-05-21T13:51:00.000+01:00

It’s sad, but I’ve been playing this more than all of the other games I’ve bought these past few weeks. Why? Well… it’s complicated.

First of all it’s colourful.

Second of all, it’s ridiculously fun.

Finally, it’s so addictive it’s became sinister. I’ve been craving this so much lately that whenever I begin playing all of my little Piñata's begin to sneer and laugh at how I’m wasting my life. Yea, you think that’s funny do you? You little “Fudgehog” Bastard? I can kill you. I can kill you with a motherfucking shovel.

Yea, that wiped the smile of your face. Bitch.

Videogame Rap

2010-05-19T23:05:00.001+01:00

Two videos in a row? You better believe it. This video was too good not to be posted.

Tomorrow? My opinions on the new Call of Duty Trailer.

As soon as I figure out when it’s exactly set.

Star Wars – Take Me Out

2010-05-18T22:47:00.001+01:00

Oh God save me. Save me from the fail.

There are around twenty of these “Video Mods” that were made for MTV of all things :|

No, I don’t know either.

Forza Motorsport 2

2010-05-17T23:11:00.001+01:00

You can probably tell, I’m not a car person.

In fact, I’m pretty oblivious to anything car related. It just means nothing to me.

So why, you’re probably asking, do I own a copy of Forza Motorsport 2? Well dear reader I’ll tell you why. I got it for free along with Viva Piñata, and when life gives you lemons you say thankyou and accept them. That’s my ideology.

Anyway, I booted it up and did the first race. I came first. I was having fun.

Then I tired to do the second one and got completely overwhelmed by…. everything. Vehicle classes? Grades? Anti-lock brakes? Auto… braking… fine tuning… fuck it. I took it right out my XBox and went back to play on Red Faction.

Anyone care to tell me what I’m meant to do? I was racing but I couldn’t physically get into first place. What’s the point?

What I’ve Playing Lately

2010-05-16T23:28:00.001+01:00

I’ve actually been playing games recently. REAL GAMES. First time since around March! Here’s what I’ve been busying myself with:

Red Faction Guerrilla

Got it for the PC for only a fiver (bargain) and I’m having so much fun with it. It’s one of those games where the game play is so good it can make the game worth playing purely on it’s own. Everything else is depressingly mediocre, but who cares? You can blow anything up! How is that not appealing? Defiantly my most played at the moment.

Pokémon Heart Gold

When I’m not doing anything, I’ll play Pokémon. So far, I’ve played it for twelve hours which is… impressive to be honest especially seeing as I only bought it a fortnight ago and I still have no intention of stopping. Possibly the best handheld game I’ve played since the original. I’ve given up on the Pokéwalker though. Too much effort.

Viva Piñata / Forza Motorsport 2

Seeing as though my PS3 is still broke, I’ve taken to buying ridiculously cheap Xbox games in an effort to keep myself entertained. This week, I bought a double pack of Forza and Viva Pinata for £6. Score! Both good, but I much prefer Forza, even though I’m not a racing fan unless the drivers are… well…. Mario characters.

Team Fortress 2

I’ve finally gotten back into Tf2 again for the eight millionth time. I swear to God, every time I start playing it again it should be referred to as a relapse. Anyway, now that the Soilder / Demoman update is a distant memory the merry world for Fort warfare is back to it’s normal, utterly brilliant self.

Two Years and Seven Months Later, Is Team Fortress 2 Still Worth Your Time?

2010-05-13T23:14:00.000+01:00

Team Fortress 2, Valves massive cartoon shooter, turned two years (and seven months) old on Monday. For most gamers, this would mean that TF2 can now be classed as “Old”. The only ones who are normally left playing by this point are the hardcore fanatics (clan members, forum goers, modders etc.) or people who have picked the game up cheap from a bargain basket. But Team Fortress 2 still boasts a very high player count, and this made me think. Why is it still worth playing after all this time?

Not all games die after a few years. World of Warcraft grows by the day and even the original Call of Duty’s are still played fanatically by fans on the PC. You only have to look at Halo 3 to realise even console gamers can love a game for years and let’s not even get started on Diablo 2. When a game is good, it remains good. It stands the test of time and can be played every day for years and years without getting boring. That’s the theory anyway.

What specifically makes these games worth playing then? Well where to begin? There’s three reasons that I can think of (correct me if I’m wrong, that’s what the comments section is for after all) that keep gamers coming back day after day. A lot of games are popular because of a combination of these features.

The game was damn good to start with.

Diablo 2, World of Warcaft, Call of Duty… These games nailed the perfect formula. They are gaming gold. Everyone has a book you can read over and over, a film that never grows old and a game that never gets boring all because of one simple reason. They are perfect. To a lot of people, their choice is very personal. For example my all time favourite game is probably inFamous because not only is it a damn fine game but I completed it during possibly one of the best times of my life. However, 90% of people have a favourite game that is shared by millions. Warcraft. Halo. They’re classed as “best thing ever” by a lot of people, and it’s easy to see why. Let’s face it, how many people do you know that consider Shawshank their favourite film of all time? Exactly, and it’s the same for games. When something's good, it’s good for a lot of people. Therefore, they’re still played by a huge number of people four, five years after their initial release dates for the simple reason that they’re classics.

The game keeps getting better.

WoW keeps getting expansions, Halo 3 keeps getting map packs… in a modern gaming age, DLC can be shipped out every day if a developer so wishes. Whether it’s for a price or for free, developers ensure that it’s audience physically can’t stop playing a game. Regardless of whether it’s either down to people needing achievements/trophies or simply due to the fact that the game keeps on getting better, it certainly extends the lifespan of a game because let’s face it. Gamers love new content. Especially if it’s free. Oh, and when the player count drops after a couple of months? Release a retail copy with all the updates on. SORTED! Am I right Bethesda?

The modders ensure that the game keeps getting better.

People don’t play the original maps on Half Life 2: Deathmatch. They just don’t do it. Why should they? They’re boring, outdated. The killboxes on the other hand are fun. Very fun. It’s the same on Counter Strike: Source (excluding Dust). If a modding community is passionate enough about a game, it will simply never stop being played until they physically can’t do anything more with it. Take Garry’s Mod for example. Shouldn’t that have been dead by now? I’ll be honest with you, I think it would have been years ago if it wasn’t for such a creative community. The game thrives on it. An active community distributing fresh original content ensures that a game will live on until… well until the sequel comes out.

So where does this leave Team Fortress 2? I’ll tell you where. It leaves it hanging between all three. Awkwardly.

Team Fortress 2 was a classic from the word go. A flawless formula, a gameplay style unrivalled by anything else, more depth than a… really deep PC FPS and, of course, more beauty than Finding Nemo in HD. TF2 was the shit, to put it simply, and it was no wonder that when the Orange Box was first released people flocked to the world of Red Vs. Blu in their thousands. It was the freshest thing Valve had made in years, and they’d done a damn good job of it to boot.

Then the inevitable happened. People began to leave. Admittedly, they had all enjoyed themselves more than they conventionally did on other games, but left they did for that is how FPS’s work. Some stay for the glory, some stay for the fun. The latter always leave. Valve, clearly feeling very clever, then decided to pull out what it thought was it’s ace in the hole. Regular, game changing, DLC packs.

Six updates later (seven if you include the classless update) and what has became of TF2? It’s a mixed opinion. Unlike other popular games that feature regular updates such as World of Warcraft, TF2 becomes more and more distant from it’s original formula with every new addition. New weapons, new items, new maps, new game modes and of course the inclusion of hats, badges, crafting and user created content. What was originally a relaxed, fun shooter is now a frantic, ultra competitive grind fest. When I first played TF2 I was taken back by it’s pick up and play simplicity entwined with it’s deep class based system. If I was to pick up the current version for the first time, I would be confused. Very confused. TF2 is no longer a clean shaven FPS that appeals to everyone. It’s an achievement festival for MMO players. It’s became mainstream, and it was never even casual in the first place.

But does this mean that Team Fortress 2 is no longer worth your time and effort? I know a lot of people that would say yes. All of the new content is overwhelming not only for first time players but for those who just haven’t played the game in a few months and it can be said that the perfect balance between classes that was achieved before launch has been completely tipped over onto it’s back due to the inclusion of the ridiculous new weapons alone. If you were a hardcore TF2 nut before, you’re gonna hate what’s happened to your baby. Hell, even if you just loved it for what it was back in 2007, I would keep those memories and throw away Steam. TF2 is no longer something you will enjoy experiencing again.

However, if you’re the type of gamer that just likes to kick back and enjoy yourself then you’re going to love what they’ve done to the place since you were away (and if you’re a first time gamer, welcome to the nut house). First of all, the weapons are great. They really work, and they’ve all been developed in a way that means they could have replaced the originals. They’re that good (and that stylised!). Secondly, all of the new hats and achievements are not only a laugh to collect but it feels good that TF2 finally has something to achieve rather than bragging rights. Some hats carry with them a huge amount of respect, and Valve are doing a great job of just dropping in some ridiculous headgear on a regular basis for everyone to unlock. It’s fun, and at the same time there’s an extra layer of depth that’s been placed quite snugly over the top of the original version. It’s a welcome addition, regardless of what other people say, and it improves the game tenfold.Not only that, but the community have also finally found themselves, with a massive amount of servers being dedicated to some quite frankly superb map ideas. They’re certainly better than some of the arse attempts you find on other games (Yes Deathmatch, we’re looking at you). A lot of people will disagree with me, and I would completely understand if they did, but if you look at TF2 in it’s current form as something completely different to the vanilla version, then it could well give it some major competition. Primarily in the hat department.

So there you have it. My opinion on TF2 2010. Agree with me or not, Valve certainly have taken a huge risk in introducing such drastic changes on such a regular basis. It certainly makes it feel less stale than the likes of Counter Strike, but then again, how long can this last?

Until then, people will play and play until the next big thing comes along that catches their eye. At the end of the day, all great things must come to an end. Even you Warcraft. Even you.

If you enjoyed reading this article, I would love it if you could pass the link on to your mates through some method or another. Failing that, just comment below. Comments really do make me want to write more like this, and I’m sure you prefer these lovely long articles to my usual “lol look what I found” blog posts. Amrite?

The Humble Indie Bundle

2010-05-10T23:30:00.001+01:00

Ok, I only checked this out today and I wish I’d done it sooner if I’m honest with you as there’s now only 21 hours left to take advantage of this offer… Woops xD

Anyway, this website is offering a lovely little package called “The Humble Indie Bundle”. They’re offering five of the best indie games of the past few years for… any price you want to offer. From a penny all the way up to a million squid (slight exaggeration but you get my point). The games themselves are charming and very playable.

The best part of this deal is that you get to choose where the money goes. You can either send it to a specified charity or to the developers of the indie games themselves. Personally, I gave them four pound and gave it all to charity. It’s not a lot to ask, especially when a lot of the money will, I presume, go straight to charity.

Please make sure to check this out. It’s worth it for World of Goo alone!

LittleBigPlanet 2 Confirmed – First Details Make Me Drool

2010-05-09T23:57:00.000+01:00

LittleBigPlanet 2 was confirmed yesterday. It’s nothing really surprising, seeing as though it’s one of the biggest selling games on the PS3. However, what is surprising is the improvements the developers are promising over the original.

Media Molecule are basically saying that in LittleBigPlanet 2 you won’t be limited to making levels. Instead, you’ll be able to make entire games from scratch using the in-game editor. Sound exciting? You bet it does. Apparently one Dev has made a Sackboy version of Command and Conquer. Oh yes ladies and nerds, it’s no longer just a platformer.

I love the sound of this. Even the cynic inside of me is agreeing that Media Molecule will deliver. LittleBigPlanet is still one of the most original games I’ve played in the past five years, so I’m literally gagging for the sequel.

No, I’m not going to comment on the Playstaton Move support because I don’t care about it.

A Boring Few Days For Games

2010-05-09T02:44:00.001+01:00

I haven’t blogged in a while and there’s been a reason for this.

Nothing has really been happening that’s been worth talking about. Personally and in the industry.

The only thing I think worth mentioning is that Modnation Racers is probably going to be my next purchase. You know, when i get my PS3 fixed.

Oh Boy! New Fallout Screens!

2010-05-04T23:11:00.001+01:00

New Fallout: New Vegas shots are in and it looks tasty. It also looks different, but not graphically. You vain little thing.

There’s certainly more inspiration from the originals present here. The robots in the first screen adhere to this theory. I mean look at them. They’re humorous. But not in a subtle, satirical way. They’re just funny lookin’. Is this a good thing? Well… to be honest with you probably not no. Fallout 3 oozed charm, satire and black humour. This looks like Fallout put it’s silly hat on and walked down the road with it’s willy out. Also, it’s the same engine as Fallout 3 as well. Easily forgivable of course, it’s a fantastic engine that serves it’s purpose. However it is two years old, and if you’re only going to make minor gameplay changes and ruin the entire feel of the game? Then… well. You’re not getting a purchase off me.

However, it could easily be a return to form. A true, 1950’s view of apocalyptic America that remains faithful to the original vision while exploiting all of the best bits from Fallout 3. If it’s the latter, then I have an erection.

Halo 3: Why?

2010-05-03T22:44:00.002+01:00

God of Phwoarrrr

2010-05-02T21:16:00.002+01:00

God of War 3 is possibly the best looking thing I’ve ever seen.

Seriously.

It’s just wow. I don't know how anyone can make games this fantastic. It's not even the graphics that are jaw dropping either. The gameplay, characters, locations and story are all of a cinematic quality. It's like one long cutscene. A bloody good cutscene.

Shame I can't play it though. Bloody PS3.

Activision: A Company To Fear

2010-04-30T20:32:00.001+01:00

So Call of Duty: Black Ops was announced today. It’s being released next November, it’s being developed by Treyarch, It’s set in Vietnam…Blah, Blah, Blah.

We can all assume it’ll have a rank based multiplayer mode, with custom classes, perks and DLC maps. We’re all positive it’ll have an “Award Winning”, “In-Depth” story and of course it’ll have one famous actor/actress doing some voice work.

Thing about Activision is, it has a habit of making really original IP’s stale by releasing them every ten minutes. Guitar Hero especially.

I feel sorry for Bungie…

Halo: Why Can’t We Just Get On?

2010-04-29T21:38:00.001+01:00

I started Halo 3 yesterday. For old times sake. I enjoyed Halo: ODST more than I probably should have so I thought I’d bury the hatchet and give old Halo 3 one last shot.

I put it on hard difficulty.

Can’t get past the first level.

I hate you Master Chief.

Winners and Failers

2010-04-28T22:56:00.001+01:00

THE FAILERS: E3 Line Up Leaked.

Oh look, it’s all of the announcements from E3 on a piece of paper. I BETTER NOT POST THIS ON TWITTER! 8D

Although it’s validity is… well it’s obviously faked but it’s interesting to think that some of these could be real. inFamous 2 would be a nice surprise, as would “James Bond Game for XBLA” (Dare I say Goldeneye? It has been confirmed to exist, after all.)

However, it’s obvious that a lot of these are going to be there anyway. Gears of War 3, Guitar Hero 6 and Dead Space 2 because they’ve all be announced and it’s obvious that this is a fake because it has the Call of Duty MMO on it. I mean seriously. Someone's just collected all of the rumours from the past six months and dumped them on a piece of paper. Amateurs. If this was a proper fake it would have Mario 128 and Duke Nukem Forever on it.

THE WINNERS: Halo 2 Is Still Online

This is my equivalent of a feel good story. Basically, these fourteen gamers have kept themselves permanently connected to the Halo 2 servers in an effort to keep the game alive, even though Microsoft closed the service two weeks ago.

"A small group of dedicated Halo 2 players kept their Xbox's on so that they could enjoy the game for a while longer. (As long as we don't turn off our Xbox's, or lose connection, we can stay online.)"

"Our Xbox's have been on for nearly 13 days straight. Each day the amount of people decreased, at a rapid rate."

"A lot of us became really good friends, and it's almost like we're family now,"

"We will keep playing until we are all forcibly removed. It could be by Microsoft, Bungie, our Xbox's overheating, or just lagging out. Not for competition, not for a prize, but for the love, and memory of Halo 2."

Isn’t that nice? I think it’s great when people are dedicated like this.

It’s just a shame they aren’t addicted to a decent game, really.

Five Things That Are Better Than Sims 3 On Consoles

2010-04-27T21:33:00.001+01:00

So The Sims 3 was confirmed for consoles today. Here are things that I deem better than this news.

1) Rectal cancer.

2) My inevitable mortality.

3) Red Steel. (Seriously).

4) The sounds of tiny children crying.

5) Sonic the Hedgehog.

Seriously though. They’re claiming it’s going to be identical to the PC version. How? There’s no mouse on an Xbox. Or on a Playstation. Oh, and before you say Wii slap yourself round the face will you? Come on. Seriously. It’ll be like Diet Sims.

Now, I may sound like I’m jumping to conclusions here but considering how God awful past console incarnations of the Sims were… do you blame me? Thought not.

Still, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt for now!

I’m kidding of course. I’m extremely prejudiced.

I Got Me Some Pocket Men

2010-04-25T22:18:00.001+01:00

Ended up getting Pokémon Heart Gold for pretty much free! So the moral of the story is wait and you’ll get a cheap Pokémon game… maybe..

Anyway I’ve played it for about an hour and a half so far and already I'm extremely impressed. Graphics are lovely, game play is the same (but hey, if it aint broke!) and the Pokéwalker is actually a really well made little peripheral. Will I use it? Maybe. Maybe.

Anyway, more news that’s not related to Pokémon tomorrow.

The Passing - Review

2010-04-24T23:18:00.001+01:00

So, I’ve finally played the Passing. Did I enjoy it? Well… that’s difficult to answer.

In some ways I was impressed. The new weapons actually bring some new flavour into the game (The M60 is incredibly fun to use), the actual level design of the campaign is really well executed and, as always, has a lot of replay value and there are a lot of really nice features like footlockers full of pills/Molotov's/pipe bombs, the Bride witch (and wedding guest zombies!) and the new Survivor uncommon common which adds this really interesting new dynamic to the game. Need health? Pipe Bomb? Pills? Quick! Get the Survivor! He even runs away, forcing you to back track in order to get him.

What didn’t I like? The original cast. Valve had so much potential with the original cast being present within The Passing but they’ve really let themselves down. You see one of them at the very beginning… and then you see three of them at the very end. Oh, and as for who dies…

SPOILERZZZ

Bill dies. How? Fuck if I know. He’s just slumped against a generator. There’s no explanation and there’s not even any remorse or even sadness shown from the remaining three. They’re just their normal everyday happy go lucky selves. Just minus Bill. Really upsetting.

NO MORE SPOILERZZZ

Apart from the tacked on original cast, I really enjoyed The Passing. However, If I’d had to pay for it, I would have fucking lost it.

Five Things That Have Been On My Mind Today

2010-04-22T22:50:00.001+01:00

1) Goddamn Valve, you are very good at making promo videos and launch trailers. I take my hat off to you, fine sirs and ladysirs. However, I have no intention of playing The Passing until the weekend. I apologise.

2) Why is Perfect Dark so goddamn hard on the… hardest difficulty? It took me three hours of solid playing to get past the first level. I hate old games, yet love them in equal measure. Damn you Rare.

3) Why isn’t Pokémon free? Also, why haven’t governments checked this game for mind control? Why do I want it so much? It’s embarrassing!

4) Should I put Ads on my blog? I suppose it would look a little less flash, but it’s free money and I like that idea.

5) Why hasn’t Sony came over and fixed my PS3 yet? It seems that the gaming God’s have forbidden me from ever finishing GTA4.

Perfect Dark: CLOCKED

2010-04-21T22:27:00.001+01:00

Finally finished the remake of Perfect Dark today and phwooooarrr is it good. Like seriously, it’s lick your lips in ecstasy good. Well, the level design is perfect, the music is spot on, the weapons are completely innovate and really fun to use and it has that lovely Rare fluidity about it which just makes it fantastic to pick up and play every time.

However, the story is absolute shite. There’s nine chapters, with about three missions in each, and I have no clue whatsoever as to what was going on. Seriously. I could make a rough guess, but I’d literally be guessing. It’s so badly crafted it’s laughable. Also, the voice acting is really terrible as well. Perfect Dark was unfortunately made in a generation that didn’t take things like voice acting too seriously, therefore Joanna Dark may have the body and the talent of a international super secret agent, but she has the voice of a fourteen year old girl which is just… ew.

As a remake though, it’s extremely faithful to the original game.

Anyway, I’m certainly going to pick up a copy of Perfect Dark Zero this weekend, just ‘cos I can innit. Mainly because I want to know why she’s ginger in this one but brunette in the original. Also my PS3 is still dead and I need something else to play.

Oh, and Valve did confirm the release date for Left 4 Dead 2 DLC on the PC yesterday. It’s coming out tomorrow for free. Linkage!

Good Zombies, Bad Zombies and Capcom Is Just Genuinely Awesome.

2010-04-20T22:11:00.001+01:00

THE GOOD ZOMBIES

Dead Rising 2 is to feature co-op play. This is win for so many reasons. Mainly because having you and a mate running round like nutters killing thousands of Zombies using anything sounds to me, like my perfect game. Not just my perfect Zombie game, but my favourite game, period. Release date’s in September. I can’t wait!

THE BAD ZOMBIES

Left 4 Dead 2 is finally getting it’s first piece of DLC, The passing, this Thursday on Xbox. It has loads of awesome features, and of course includes the original survivors. Read that again. Yes, I only said Xbox and that’s not a typo I’m afraid. It just hasn’t been confirmed for PC yet. Oh Valve. Why. What’s happened to you?

CAPCOM IS JUST GENUINELY AWESOME

I don’t even have to explain why this the best thing I’ve seen all day. Chris Redfield fighting the Hulk? Oh God yes.

What Happens After The Hero Rescues The Princess?

2010-04-19T23:00:00.001+01:00

It’s finally been explained, and it makes so much sense! /sexism

Pokémon HeartGold – DO WANT

2010-04-18T23:10:00.001+01:00

When I was a seven, I got a Game Boy Colour from my parents. With it, I got Pokémon Gold. I played that game for about two years, every day. I loved it, and even during the “Pokémon is for social outcasts” phase, it always had a soft spot within my heart.

So, is it any surprise that I’m literally gagging for this game? I face two problems though:

No money to buy the game.
No Ds, as it’s broke.
No money to fix the DS, or buy a new one.

I hate being a teenager.

Halo 3: ODST Is Actually Good

2010-04-17T23:14:00.001+01:00

Got a friend over mine at the moment and he brought up Halo 3: ODST (Or just ODST. Why is it called Halo 3: ODST? It’s just awkward to say) and it’s actually… really, really good. Like, seriously good.

As you all probably know I hated Halo 3 so much I have a life-sized master chief cardboard cut-out that I just punch everyday when I walk past it, because the game was so bland and unimaginative It made me permanently angry. But ODST is like someone took Halo 3 and made it something that’s actually good to play. Unlike the shiny, colourful world of previous Halo games, ODST places you into the ruined city of New Mombasa. At night. In darkness, you only have your helmet to keep you from being slaughtered by the Covenant… oh, and did I mention that you’re just a regular foot solider and not a super solider like Master Chief? The Rookie, who you play as primarily for most of the campaign, would have been killed within the first ten minutes of Halo 3. As would his team mates.

But although ODST sounds like another run of the mill shoot em and kill em and get bored after about an hour, ODST has this depth to it that makes it… well one of the finest FP’s I've played in a long time. The music is gorgeous, the graphics are fine, the characterisation (You play as members of your missing squad through “Flashbacks” as the Rookie explores the city) is spot on and overall? It’s an incredible little game. Oh, and did I mention that it’s free roam when you play as the rookie? Trust me, it really adds to the overall experience.

My only problem however is that ODST suffers from Portal syndrome as me and Friz finished it in around four and a half hours. This game could have been something incredible if it was longer, but as it is it's certainly worth picking up. Even if you’re not a Halo fan.

I know. Shocking isn’t it? (Bad pun).

Crysis 2: Made Out Of Unicorn Blood, Jesus’ Tears And The Willpower Of A Dragon. Obv.

2010-04-15T23:32:00.001+01:00

I’ve just done some research and apparently Crysis 2 will run on my computer on medium to high graphics. Look at that screenshot above and yes, I don’t know how, but that is an actual in-game screenshot. Just look at that. That may as well be real. Like seriously, that may as well be a real man standing there in a suit that looks like a Transformer naked.

I’ve never been a fan of Crysis, as I mentioned in an earlier post and to my mother, but I'm intrigued by the prospect of the new one. Especially how they’ve made it so it looks better than the original but runs on worse computers… That’s magic in motion kids. Right there. “Hey! I can pull a rabbit out of a hat!”…

… “Well I can play Crysis 2 on a mid range PC and it still looks better than your Mum. So suck it.”

Gears Of War 3: A Shocking Reveal?

2010-04-15T00:04:00.001+01:00

So the Gears of War 3 trailer was released. It had a load of people dead and left as nothing but ash, standing screaming etc. Fairly cool. Then Dom comes running through them looking like Bear Grills made a baby with an actual bear. He comes running through all these dead ash people, just smashing them up etc. and then the locust come and they shoot and… you get the idea. It’s Gears of War. What else do you expect. So far so Epic, in all sense of the word.

Then two really strange things happen.

1) Marcus turns up with short sleeves, making him look like someone advertising a gay cruise to Pompeii.Still, at least I now know what makes a muscle man look instantly gay. Short sleeves! Who would have guessed?

2) A woman turns up. With a gun. Yea you read that right. She turns up, with a gun and starts shooting locust. No she’s not Anya, and no she doesn’t have huge man shoulders. Still, there’s going to be some discussion amongst the internet as to whether she’s a stereotypical video gaming female (i.e. there will be a point where she has her chesticles on display in a completely impractical situation) or so mega butch she may as well be Cole in a blonde wig. Actually… well Epic? Please? For me?

I like it. In fact I love it. Looks to be more of the same but there’s so much potential for some REALLY good storytelling. Take Dom, he looks like a broken man. Beard out of control, his hairline receding. He seems clumsy, and when he falls and sees the locust raise his gun? He really doesn’t care. I’m probably looking too much into this, but this looks to be possibly game of the year 2011.

Trailers below.

MissingNo. Trick

2010-04-13T09:25:00.001+01:00

Ahhh. I used to be shit scared of MissingNo. Not because I thought it would break my game. I just used to fear it would come out of my game Boy and eat me.

Seriously.

Halo MMO – “Better Than Jesus” Claims Man Who… Made It.

2010-04-12T23:14:00.001+01:00

Dusty Monk (yes, that’s actually his name) who worked on the cancelled Halo MMO has turned around today and said that it was going to be better than WoW.

“The Halo MMO was absolutely going to compete with WoW"

Oh right OK. Yea I totally believe that. I bet it was going to be just as good as Duke Nukem Forever. BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW GOOD THAT IS. Of course you can turn around and say that when we have absolutely no clue what it was going to be like. You know what? I’m going to speculate that you could do ANYTHING. Anything at all. I bet you could even make Master Chief turn into Jessica Rabbit then have him/her fly an X-wing into a T-Rex. Yea, you know what? If that’s what the Halo MMO was, then I’m guessing it was pretty damn awesome.

Some Epic Announcements

2010-04-11T23:46:00.001+01:00

On Monday, Cliff Bleszinski is planning on unveiling two completely new titles that EPIC have been developing and collaborating on. One of them is obviously Gears of War 3, but the other one is a new game called Bulletstorm. Yea you read that right. BULLETSTORM. A STORM OF BULLETS. RAWR. Another manly game for Epic then, I would guess.

The press release included within this months issue of Game Informer (which has leaked) says that you’ll be shooting a load of mutants with a variety of weapons in a deserty / vegas type environment but… ahh I don’t know. I tuned out when reading it to be honest. It’s just another EPIC title. It’s going to include lots of blood, the Unreal 3 engine and manly men. Oh, and it’s obviously going to be really good. Is there anything else you need to know? Nah I didn’t think so.

I am excited for the Gears of War 3 information though.

Ramblog

2010-04-10T15:37:00.000+01:00

You know what I haven’t done in ages? A blog where I just ramble on about what I’ve been doing. ‘Suppose I haven’t really had much to ramble about lately.

So, most importantly my PS3 broke today. Disc readers just gone, and it’s going to cost me £130 to get it replaced. £130, which I don’t have. So that’s me PS3 less for a few months. May as well get used to playing on my Xbox. Maybe I’ll even get round to finished Mass Effect! Who knows.

Bought Timesplitters the other day and haven’t had a chance to play it yet, so me and Emma decided it was about time to give it a go so we booted it up on Co-Op. The music was funky, the levels were simple but surprisingly VERY fun and the graphics weren’t really THAT bad. So we played through the campaign and… erm… finished it in half an hour. In all honesty, some of the levels took under a minute to complete. It was… ridiculous. Still, we had fun and I only payed £2 for it overall so it wasn’t too much of a loss. I was gutted that there was no arcade league on it though. I mean, what’s that all about?

And finally, my lovely girlfriend has actually started her own blog about being a girl gamer. Now, you’ll get our Timesplitters from two sources. It’s like two commentators. One talks about the graphics, the other talks about the waists. Make sure to check her out here, and trust me you’re in for a treat.

Crysis 2

2010-04-09T23:57:00.000+01:00

So the official, HD, shiny new “OMG IT’S GONNA BE RELEASED SOON SO BUY IT PLEASE” trailer for Crysis 2 was revealed today. First impressions? Well it looks like all of the other generic, alien invasion end of the world videogames out there. And by that, I mean it looks awesomely amazing.

I’m excited by this, but completely torn about which console to get it on. Do I get it on PC, and pray that I meet requirements, or do I get it on PS3 and suffer a few graphical cut backs?

Think i’ll go with Ps3.

Should probably finish the first one while I’m at it as well.

Old Games Are HARD!

2010-04-08T22:49:00.001+01:00

Me and my girlfriend finished Timesplitters Future Perfect on the PS2 the other day. Only took us about five hours overall, and as we finished it we decided that it was way too short. We came to the conclusion that although we love Future Perfect, Timesplitters 2 is just a far superior game. So I went out and bought it for three quid. Bargain, I thought.

Then we played it. You ever heard the expression, “Looking through the rose tinted glasses?”. Well we were looking through the rose tinted goggles. Timesplitters 2 is as hard as fecking diamond.

There’s no health! Only check point PER LEVEL and barely any ammo and decent weapons.

All in all? Either we’ve gone soft, or our memories are wrong…

Third Times A Charm…

2010-04-07T23:35:00.001+01:00

I started GTA4 again yesterday, mainly because I’ve never finished it. Not too sure why, but I just never got into it enough to see it to the end. Anyway, now that Episodes from Liberty City has finally surfaced on the PS3 I feel as though I have a good enough reason to pick it up again.

Third time lucky? Well, it worked with Fallout.

I haven’t really been gaming enough lately, because I’ve been starting up an online radio station. As it’s finally hit a stable point, this site will certainly start to be updated more!

NOOO! WHY GOD, WHY?

2010-04-06T19:22:00.001+01:00

With every second of this video, my soul slowly dies…

Duke Nukem Forever – The Game That Keeps On Giving

2010-04-05T23:42:00.002+01:00

So everyone, everywhere has been getting an erection over this video and I thought it was probably about time I gave my opinion on it.

If this video is the most recent incarnation of Duke Nukem Forever, then I am severely disappointed. Not in a, “Woah man, this was overhyped” kind of way, but in a “Oh God, I’ve played Half Life 2 mods better than this.”

Come on 3D realms, stop kidding yourselves. The last original IP you developed was Prey. I mean seriously, we’re not in the 80’s anymore guys. We don’t want to run around with a mullet, screaming hilarious “manly” phrases and “Blowing the shit out of some alien scum”. Allright? It’s over.

Please. Stop this nonsense.

“Console Prostitutes” = Fail

2010-03-30T22:58:00.001+01:00

So this rather ingenious site has just came about called “GameCrush.com”, where sad lonely people (like myself) can pay for a girl to play an online game with them. All online games are included, and it’s about £4 for twenty minutes play.

Now… let’s just review this. You pay £4 for a random girl, to speak idly over voice chat and… play a game with you. Then, she buggers off and you’re still as lonely as you were before and you haven’t even had a chance to have a crafty yet. Sound pointless? Oh yes. Does it sound degrading? Even more so.

Guess what? The site crashed within the first five minutes of launch, due to 100,000 applications for “e-dates”.

*face/palm*

Torchlight

2010-03-29T22:16:00.001+01:00

Told you March was a busy month!

So for the past two days I’ve been playing Torchlight obsessively. It’s amazing. Perhaps the only reason I’m enjoying it so much is because I’ve never played Diablo but either way. It’s insanely addictive, rather good looking and really, really, REALLY good fun to play. Not only that but I got it for less than a fiver. Sorted.

Got to love Steam.

2010-03-25T22:49:00.001Z

Just bought Torchlight for £3.95.

£3.95!

It was £15 yesterday!

God, I love Steam.

Perfect Dark HD + Early ‘90s FPS’s.

2010-03-24T23:05:00.001Z

So, I won a competition today by saying something witty and my prize was a free copy of Perfect Dark HD, the Xbox Live Arcade remake of the cult classic N64 shooter from the 90’s.

I’ll be honest with you, I’ve never played the original. Yes, I know, blasphemy etc. I just never got around to it. So, I figured, this would be a perfect opportunity for me to play it, finally, after all this time. First impressions are it’s amazing. Really good fun.

Now, that isn’t my point. My point is this. My God. How much have FPS’ changed in the past ten years please?

I was always a big fan of Goldeneye and Timesplitters in my early teens (because lets face it, before Infinity Ward even drew a picture of a gun, Rare / Free Radical were masters of the genre), but I honestly think it’s been so long since I’ve played a classic FPS that I haven’t had time to look back and just think “Woah… this is so… basic.”

You know what? Basic is good. It’s nice that I’m given three objectives, a gun and just told to go do the mission. There’s no freedom. There’s no cut scenes midway through levels of people dramatically revealing plot points to me, even though I know for a fact that in order to reach the conclusion I’m just going to have shoot more people, and it’s ESPECIALLY nice not having the option of being able to aim down my scope! Because lets face it, the second we have that option we seriously exploit it. Also, whatever happened to Guns with multiple functions? You know, pistols with grenade launchers. That kind of thing. I miss them!

I think it’s just nice to sit back and go back to basics. Play a game that started it all. I’m not saying this is better than Bioshock, or Call of Duty. It’s just a good old fashioned, incredibly fun and refreshingly simple game that I’m enjoying playing at the moment.

Also, is it just me, or does everyone get stuck on every single level when playing these games?

DS3D

2010-03-23T22:51:00.001Z

I told you! I told you all! I said, that even though the DSiXXX Hardcore edition was coming out that Nintendo would produce another one in a matter of seconds and you know what? They have! The DS3D!

In all fairness, that was back in November and this isn’t just another fun sized version of the DSi. It’s actually something… rather ambitious.

That video above isn’t of the new DS, it’s of a game for the old DS’s but the premise is still pretty much the same. Nintendo want to add full 3D depth to their games without the use of glasses. Pretty cool huh? Not only that, but it’s expected to have Gamecube quality graphics. A VERY bold statement Nintendo.

Can they deliver? Well, they promised a lot with the Wii and in all fairness they did give us what they promised. The problem was that we, the fans, expected something mind blowing.

Therefore, I’m not holding my breath. Mainly because I can’t for very long.

Alan Titchmarsh – Neo Nazi of ITV

2010-03-22T23:06:00.001Z

This… BILE of a video will make you froth at the mouth and probably even lead you to bite someone out of pure hatred for… a gardener.

Yes, if you haven’t seen this yet TV’s most exciting chap Alan Titchmarsh and his two cronies attacked Tim from CVG in a scene that resembled three really old lions slaughtering a helpless rabbit.

To be honest, if their ignorance doesn’t make you want to kill the woman at the very LEAST, then you are a stronger Man/Woman than I…

Tower Defence

2010-03-21T22:53:00.001Z

It’s been a busy few months for me, with college finally starting to grind to a halt, it’s been panic mode for my teachers in terms of getting me to finish work and coursework. Therefore, I haven’t really been gaming as much as I used too. Lately? I’ve been playing Fallout 3… and Bioshock 2… and that’s it.

So, what do I blog about? Well, I scrape together anything that remotely resembles games and blog about them. So, in honour of this, I’ve been playing a lot of Tower Defence games this week.

I got a game on my iPod called TapDefence which is incredible. Brilliant fun to play on the bus / in lessons / in bed. It’s just simple to play and incredibly addictive. Oh and it’s free, which is a plus. When I’m not playing that on my iPod, I'm playing Desktop Tower Defence online. Quite simply? The most addictive game ever. Fact. If you’ve never played it before then you’re seriously missing out. Seriously. Go Google it.

So there you go. The most interesting thing I’ve played all week is an iPod tower defence game.

God, I can’t wait for study leave…

Heart of Darkness

2010-03-20T22:12:00.000Z

You know when you see something and you remember it but…. not really anything specific about it?

Well someone mentioned an old PS1/PC game called Heart of Darkness to me the other day and this happened. A friend of mine had it on the PS1 when I was like, seven, and I used to adore watching him play it. So I hunted down some videos and Youtube and my God. It was an absolute GEM of a title! Beautifully inspired pre-rendered environments that you could interact with, a really dark and sinister plot and of course, some pretty classic side scrolling action (albeit Abes Oddesy).

I am so hunting this down.

Playstation Move Advert.

2010-03-18T23:22:00.003Z

Although I'm not too keen on the idea, this just proves how awesome Sony are. They blatantly take the piss out of Natal and Wii here, which is always a good thing.

Heavy Rain

2010-03-17T22:52:00.001Z

Ages ago , I played the Heavy Rain demo. My first impressions were ones of… shock! Joy! Controlling an overweight, asthmatic police officer as he enters the apartment of a prostitute is, after all, something I can’t say I’ve ever done in a videogame before. Instantly, I loved the controls, the QuickTime events and of course, as I’m a sucker for insanely juicy narratives, loved the opening of the story. This first section was a joy to play.

However, as soon as I played the introduction to the second character (an FBI agent who’s a cross between a stereotypical “First Day On The Job” policeman and… Robocop) things began to get iffy. See, I was wandering around this field looking for clues, and effectively I was collecting objects in order to progress. Not really the best thing to make me do in the demo of the “Most interactive game ever” is it? Making me collect objects. It was like playing Spyro with QuickTime events.

So yea, that really put me off. I’m still thinking of renting it though. Not buying it, however, as there’s just no replay value in it whatsoever.

Fallout Stuffs

2010-03-16T22:54:00.001Z

So, most of you will have seen the above image by now, and no doubt it’s counterparts and probably thought one of two things. You’ll either have smiled and thought “Ah! Thank God for that! New Vegas is more of the same, and after the epic that was Fallout 3, that’s very much a good thing".” Or, you’ll have gone, “NOOO” FANBOY RAAAGGE! IT'S JUST THE SAME GARGHHH” and presumably, choked on your own rage vomit.

At first, I was choking on my rage vomit, but as I was lying on the floor gasping for air I realised that the direction New Vegas is taking is no way a bad move.

See, I’ve just started a fresh game of Fallout 3 on the PC and already I’m once again completely immersed in the wasteland. If New Vegas is promising us Fallout 3 all over again, and THEN some… well colour me speechless because they are Gods amongst Men and we must worship these people.

Of course, I’m still sceptical that it may turn out to be a bland, samey version of Fallout 3 but at the moment? They have the benefit of the doubt. You have until Christmas guys and gals. Do me proud.

Motion Bloody Control.

2010-03-10T22:25:00.001Z

I am sick to my fecking stomach with these ridiculous motion control devices. Project Natal, Ps3 “Wand”…

Look, guys, there was a specific reason why I left the Nintendo Camp for you two and it wasn’t because I have a passionate fear of moustached Italian men, so stop showing me your paedophile simulators and waving your phallic orb sticks in my face because I don’t care.

I mean come on! All I want to do is play a game the old fashioned way. Is it really too much to ask?

Bioshock 2 Multiplayer: I’m Already Whining

2010-03-04T23:36:00.001Z

I played Bioshock 2 Multiplayer for the first time today. I like it so much at the moment, that I’ve played it for three hours. In a day. That’s a lot for me.

Anyway, I like how fresh it is. There’s something incredibly good fun about running around, setting people on fire, freezing them, whacking them with a frying pan, shooting them with a high powered shotgun, hacking a turret to shoot at them and rigging a vending machine to shoot explosives at anyone who comes too close. Certainly more entertaining that Modern Warfare 2 is at that moment, anyway.

However I’m not here to review (Seeing as I'm planning a MONSTER REVIEW Week next week so keep posted), instead I'm here to bullet point off a few points that are so far hindering my experience playing the game. So listen up 2K Marin!

First off, connection issues. I’ve played 14 full games so far, but I’ve been disconnected from 5. I know this may not seem like a major issue, but you loose all of your experience points when some dick decides to disconnect. Host migration would fix this pretty much instantly.
I’m also having problems with the matchmaking. Although I am ending up in games with people of the same Rank (A rare treat, especially on the PS3) it’s taking far too long to locate people. If I want to play free for all, I’m having to wait five or ten minutes. It’s not really worth it. So, could you make it so it searches for rank / location? Would make it far better.
I lag. But only when starting the match. A glitch, or my internet?
People keep falling through the floors. Well not completely, but you have them running round with their legs under the floorboards, coming at you like a Wickes version of Jaws. It’s terrifying.
More characters and maps would be much appreciated as well. Free would be even better xD

Why…?

2010-03-03T22:53:00.001Z

Why is there only one black person in Bioshock 2? Like, there’s an abundance of white people but only one black person…

It’s… an odd message.

Portal 2?

2010-03-02T23:22:00.001Z

Now I love a bit of Viral advertising, but this whole Portal fiasco that’s been buzzing around communities lately is just absolutely fascinating.

First, look here to get the low down on all of the content that the community has found since it’s update on the 1st. To those who don’t know, Portal was updated yesterday to include radios that transmitted Morse code and other creepy noises. The fantastic thing? If you translated these through a sound to image converter (and no, I don’t know what possessed someone to even TRY that) you got most of the images found in the link above. All of the other stuff they found? I have no idea.

Anyway, it’s certainly either Portal 2 or Half Life 3 which makes me very happy indeed.

PlayStation Fail…

2010-03-01T22:55:00.001Z

Due to…. “Calendar Issues” I couldn’t play Bioshock 2 on my Ps3 today which… sucked.

Apparently the consoles were effectively collapsing in on themselves when you turned them on due to them thinking it was a leap year or something equally as ridiculous…

Anyway, it was probably a load of overblown nonsense but I haven’t risked it, just incase.

The Wii Is A Virus

2010-02-27T23:17:00.000Z

Ex-DICE boss Fredrik Liliegrin has labeled Nintendo Wii a "virus" - and said that the platform holder knows it is "not a video games machine".

If the Wii is a virus, then it’s a fucking pandemic.

Street Named After Lara Croft.

2010-02-26T23:32:00.001Z

Lara Croft has finally been given universal recognition in the form of a street in Derby.

I can finally sleep easily at night.

Mega 64

2010-02-25T22:36:00.001Z

These make me laugh every time. Enjoy!

Steam UI Overhall

2010-02-24T22:12:00.001Z

For the first time since it’s release, Steam has received a major overhaul in terms of it’s UI.

I’ve been using it since 2006 and it’s the first time It’s seen any major changes. Good old Valve Time, eh?

Anyway it’s nice! I like it. Clean, stylish and a lot easier to use.

Good job Valve.

Project Natal

2010-02-23T22:19:00.001Z

Just me who really doesn’t care about this? Go on, shove your filthy palms in the air if you don’t care either.

… Wow… That’s a lot of hands. Maybe we should like, tell Microsoft or something…

Bioshock 2 DLC: RAGE!

2010-02-22T22:07:00.001Z

Who’s ready for a good old fashioned DLC Rant?

So Bioshock 2 has been out for about a fortnight now, and already 2K are detailing the first pack of DLC. That’s fourteen days folks, and already the DLC’s on the way.

Now, normally I complain that DLC is a cheap excuse to add features to a game that the company couldn’t finish in time for release. This riles me up like nobodies business, but lately companies have been something even worse, and Bioshock 2 is a culprit of the crime.

They’ve been making the DLC during the development cycle, and leaving it out on purpose. Which I suppose is fair enough, but not when it’s a central part of the game itself. Take Assassin’s Creed 2 for example, in which two whole DNA sequences from the middle of the game have been left out in order to sell for £3 after the release date. Now, is it just me, or is that just wrong? Now look at Bioshock, which is giving you additional ranks for multiplayer and two new characters… and that’s it. That’s like leaving out two weapons on COD, as well as not letting you hit prestige 70 until you fork out another fiver.

Absolutely ridiculous.

This Image…

2010-02-21T22:54:00.001Z

This one image pretty much sums up my entire weeks worth of gaming.

Bioshock 2

2010-02-20T23:42:00.000Z

First up, ignore everything I said the other day. February is just too much of a hectic month for me, and I’m just always busy. This explains why my Blog’s been all over the place recently.

Anyway, I’m after Bioshock 2 and I’m thinking of trading in some games in order to get it. Thing is… Eight games for one? Is it worth it?

See, I’m a hoarder so I like to have a large collection. A little bit of me dies every time I trade in one, never mind eight.

So trade or save? Answers on a postcard.

Or, the comment section. Your choice.

Randomness

2010-02-19T00:20:00.001Z

I just started writing my Assassin’s Creed 2 Review but… in all honesty it’s far too late for me to write anything that’s even going to be worth reading.

Lately I’ve been struggling to write anything coherent on here. I haven’t really been playing anything new, bar a few casual games such as Peggle and shiz on my iPod. I haven’t yet managed to get my grubby mitts on a copy of Bioshock 2, my ROM of Conkers Bad Fur Day just stopped working after a few levels…. I’ve mainly just been playing Call of Duty: MW2 and Uncharted 2.

I still haven’t finished Borderlands.

I still haven’t even started Killzone 2 or Resistance 2.

I haven’t played Tf2 in ages.

I haven’t even played all of the campaigns on Left 4 Dead 2 yet.

Basically, College is getting in the way. Also, I’ve had some stuff to do related to my life in general as well, that’s why there’s been a few gaps this month.

I promise I’ll try and get on top of this a little better. Tomorrow you’ll get your Assassin’s Creed 2 review. You might even get an inFamous review on Saturday!

Anyway, Peace out guys.

iPod / iPhone Games

2010-02-17T21:53:00.001Z

I got an iPod touch last weekend, and I’ve been messing around with a few of the free games.

I’m quite impressed actually, because the free games are actually brilliant little timewasters. Some of them are genuinely entertaining to play as well, surprisingly.

I’ve been playing Sunday Lawn (Where you have to mow a lawn in one go whilst avoiding hedgehogs. Sounds crap, but it’s fun in practice), Call of Duty: Zombies (An iPhone version of the console minigame and it’s actually amazing. Incredible graphics, pretty easy to control and a great little game to play in short bursts) and Eliminate Pro (a free to play online FPS which is so good it should be illegal. How is it free? I don’t understand it!).

I think I’m going to download a paid game though in the form of Resident Evil 4 because… well think about it. Resi 4 on my iPod? Yes please.

Casual Games Sometimes = Win

2010-02-16T12:58:00.001Z

PopCap have an extraordinary gift. They are perhaps one of the only gaming companies in the world that can make casual games incredibly hardcore. Easily accessible for a new player, incredibly addictive to anyone who plays it and features enough depth to keep the hardcore market completely hooked.

Yes, Peggle Nights has been glued to my screen since yesterday and when I’m not staring blankly at a screen full of balls (Careful) I’m staring at a screen full of Foliage and the undead.

I also go Plants Vs. Zombies, which so far is another reason why PopCap should probably be controlling the Earth as the official representatives of galatic fun and addictiveness.

Also I’m back now. It’s been a busy weekend!

Halo Reach

2010-02-12T10:57:00.000Z

In no way shape or form am I a Halo fan, but even I have to admit that Halo Reach could well be something worth looking into.

AudioSurfin’

2010-02-11T22:06:00.001Z

Two years on, and Audiosurf is still as original and as awe inspiring as it was on release day.

It’s one hell of a testament to good games design, and certainly a forerunner for new, interactive and genuinely enjoyable user-created videogames.

So Audiosurf? I salute you, because you never fail to impress, intrigue and entertain.

OH FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!

2010-02-08T22:07:00.001Z

I’ve went from loving Assassin’s Creed 2 to hating it with a passion fairly quickly.

I’m trying to get a platinum trophy.

Which means I need all the feathers.

I have 98.

I can’t find the last two.

FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!

Uncharted 2: Multiplayer Skins

2010-02-07T22:39:00.001Z

I haven’t played Uncharted 2 in a while, so I thought I’d have a mess around on multiplayer. Little did I know that it had been invaded by characters from other PlayStation games.

Every match I went on had either Cole from inFamous or a Chimera from Resistance running around. No others mind, just those two characters, which I found a little odd. I mean why not Zeke for Gods sake! It’s Zeke! I love Zeke!

Anyway I can’t really decide whether I like these or not. In some ways I think they’re a pretty good idea. The Resistance and the Killzone skins fit perfectly, as the heroes look like… well heroes and the villains match the mercenary/creature criteria fairly nicely as well. However, the inFamous skins rub me up the wrong way… It’s the electricity running up Coles arms. It’s just… wrong. It clings to them like a blue spiders web and just doesn’t move. They may as well have just left him as normal. Would have looked better.

Overall, these skins aren’t really adding anything to the overall game other than the novelty value. Kudos to Naughty Dog for adding them, but personally I won’t be getting excited until I see Kratos throwing a grenade off Snake’s forehead.

Fallout: New Vegas

2010-02-06T23:50:00.001Z

New Trailer! Watch it now!

Opinions? Well don’t mind if I do. Also, I’m going to ignore the rumours going around about being able to play as ghouls etc. All seem a bit… fake to me at the moment, so I’ll acknowledge them once they’ve been confirmed. Anyway, here we go:

I like:

That Robot. Yes, I know, a stupid thing to start on but I just do. It’s awesome.
The logo. It’s very very similar to the original logos which could mean a return to the very original Fallout style. Large deserts, grey super mutants, turn based RPG system etc. This could also be enforced by the trailer starting on a TV screen and slowly panning out, which of course is identical to the opening of the original Fallout.
Although it’s only a teaser trailer, the graphics are certainly better than anything released prior to Fallout 3’s release. A new engine perhaps? Improved graphics would certainly be a welcome improvement.
The location. Vegas could well be an extremely fascinating direction for the Fallout series, or an extremely bad one. If the game delivers huge desert landscapes, hundreds of locations and of course a living breathing post-apocalyptic representation of Vegas then I would be very happy indeed.

I dislike:

While it’s fresh in your minds, let’s go back to talking about the location. If the game delivers an empty, barren wasteland with hardly anything to do and a representation of Vegas that’s about as populated and as interesting as the cities on Borderlands then that’s it. I won’t care. The Capital Wasteland was the best thing about Fallout 3 and that’s a fact.
It’s not being made by Bethesda this time around. Instead, it’s been given to Obsidian Entertainment who are famous for Neverwinter Nights 2 and Alpha Protocol. That’s it. To top it off, Bethesda aren’t even publishing it in some parts of the world. Eep? I think so.
The possibility that it’s too over the top. I’m all for satirical videogames, but Vegas gives Fallout the opportunity to be so tongue in cheek that it not only alienates fans of the series but anyone who dares play it, expecting something with at least some seriousness in it.

Overall though? I’m excited. How could I not be! Fallout 3 was incredible.

Oliver Twist: The Game

2010-02-05T22:59:00.001Z

I love this. EA released a ton of concept art for some games that never made it into production. Amongst them, was Oliver Twist.

So I know it sounds like an utterly ridiculous idea, but think about. A charming, free roaming, Assassin’s Creed esque game with a deep and meaningful storyline and beautiful yet grimy visuals that truly capture the original feel of the novel.

Just me then? Oh OK. Just saying… You know. I mean, they made a musical out of it and that worked.

Bad Company + Alien Vs. Predator

2010-02-04T22:32:00.001Z

So the BETA’s for Bad Company 2 and Alien Vs. Predator came out today.

I’ve spent all day downloading them and just can’t be bothered to play them.

So I’ll ask you. Any good?

Assassins Creed 2: Does It Have To End?

2010-02-03T21:27:00.001Z

I’m coming up to the end of Assassins Creed 2 now and… I’ve enjoying it. In fact, I’m enjoying it so much…. that I don’t want it to end.

What has this world came too?

I’m not saying that I’m now a devoted follower of all things Assassins Creed, mind you. I still maintain that the first game is an absolute horrific nightmare of a game. The sequel just gets everything right this time around, ‘tis all.

Review soon. Well I say that. I still need to review inFamous and God of War.

Bewbs

2010-02-02T22:39:00.001Z

Today I witnessed three sets of virtual boobs. All of which, left me feeling dirty all over.

The first was on a video someone sent me of the new PS3 cinematic thriller Heavy Rain. I’ve been fairly interested in it, so I was glad that there was new footage out there that I haven’t seen. Turns out it was of the main character showering. How fun. On another note, you have to wave your controller up and down to dry her off. I’m feeling a bit put off by this game now…

The second was Mass Effect 2, in which the woman above pounced Captain Shepherd in what looked like an engine room. It was embedded within an article on CVG about Fox News’s reaction to the sex scenes within the first Mass Effect. I watched it thinking it was about the outrage. I was mistaken.Thing is, all I could think about was how the hell did she get her suit off in the first place? I mean… It’s metal isn’t it? If it isn’t then what the hell does she reflect bullets with?

Third was this thing on Conkers Bad Fur Day. I think I’ve been put off games all together now.

N64 Emulator

2010-02-01T23:02:00.001Z

I decided to download an N64 emulator because there’s a load of N64 games that I’ve gotten around to getting hold of.

So I’ve downloaded Conkers Bad Fur Day, Legend of Zelda: Majoras Mask and…. Pokémon Snap. (It was a childhood favourite, lay off).

I need to download Paper Mario, Yoshi’s Story and…. I would say Starfox 64.

Anyone else got any suggestions of things I missed from the 64 era?

The Worlds Most Important Question

2010-01-31T22:25:00.001Z

Does Peggle require skill, or is it just all about luck?

It’s a question that we may never be able to answer.

Three Things I Hate About Pre-Owned Games

2010-01-30T17:31:00.000Z

Games owned by Smokers.

Once in a blue moon, I’ll buy a game from somewhere like Entertainment Exchange, usually a PC RTS like the Settlers, for around £2, and it will stink of smoke. I hate smoking, I think it’s disgusting, and when I’m holding something that smells like it’s been used as an ashtray since it' came out four years ago… it’s never good. This also covers games that are sticky. Yes, sticky. I bought a copy of Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga and it’s cover felt like it had been smeared in Jam. Of course, I didn’t realise this until I’d placed my brand new copy of inFamous on top if it. Which was just… marvellous.

2. Games in awful conditions.

The image above, is my copy of Crackdown. Have you seen the state of that back cover? My copy of Mass Effect is the same. It has no plastic on the top of it as well, which means it can’t close and…. well it has a hole in the top of it. The worst thing about Crackdown though, is that I was going to buy a copy for a fiver from Gamestation at first, but I was told I needed I.D. Crackdown is a 15. I was 16 at the time. I was denied it. So I walked over to Grainger, where I had to buy THAT copy, for £12! I had to pay a clear seven pound more for a copy in worse condition. Bloody retailers.

3. Games with all the important stuff missing.

When I first bought my Xbox, I picked up a few key games to go with it. Halo 3, Resident Evil 5 and Gears of War 2. Now, I bought Gears of War 2 mainly for the online play as I had already completed it. However, I soon found out that most of my friends who played it online were rather fond of the original maps that were packaged free within pretty much all copies of Gears of War 2. Well I should rephrase that. All new copies. I had a pre-owned one. What really annoyed me, was that someone out there had an Xbox with the extra maps just sitting on his hard drive, while I had the bloody game.

So Long, Farewell....

2010-01-29T08:26:00.001Z

So my Xbox Live ran out today, which means that tomorrow I'll be trading in Modern Warfare 2.

Oh Modern Warfare 2, How you've given me laughs, endless fun and callsigns.

Anyway, out of grievance I'll be getting this for the PS3...

*sniggers*

Sod the iPad. Game Boy Camera Is Where It’s At.

2010-01-28T22:49:00.001Z

So who else is sick of hearing about the iPad? I know I am.

Therefore lets talk about the greatest invention of the past one hundred years.

The Game Boy camera.

I remember being absolutely blown away by this. It was a camera, on your Game Boy! A real Camera! You could like, take pictures and stuff it was amazing! I remember my mate getting one for his birthday as well as Pokémon Yellow and I was so jealous I cried. True story.

Look at the quality of that picture! It’s right to say, that that’s a car. Yup. Incredible stuff.

Of course, all of this was pointless until this came along…

So you can sit there and drool over your iPad’s and your iMacs and your iPhones, whereas I’ll be hunting on eBay for a one of these babies.

Do you want a terrible black and white camera for an outdated handheld system? Well there isn’t an app for that. So suck it.

iWant

2010-01-27T21:48:00.001Z

So Apple once again releases something new. It’s pointless, it’s completely unpractical… and it’s shiny.

DO WANT!

League of Legends

2010-01-26T22:12:00.000Z

So I’ve been playing League of Legends (or LoL, as it’s often called, which I just find fantastic) quite obsessively these past few days. A friend recommended it to me on the basis that it was “very similar” to the cult Warcraft 3 mod Defence of the Ancients. To be honest, the only reason I gave it a download was because it sounded a bit like Warcraft 3 and… well it’s free to play.

I’ve been graciously rewarded for my choice. League is a very simple, yet addictive game that works like this. The player picks a character to play as, or a “Summoner” as they’re referred to in game, which is basically a hero character that you play as. All of these characters have four magic abilities and a basic attack that varies from punch or cast. Then you’re placed into a game with 9 others (5 Vs. 5 games) and the game begins. The basic premise is each base is defended by towers and waves of units which guard the main paths leading to your base. In the centre of each base is a building that must be destroyed to win the game.

So the premise is deviously simple, yet in practice it becomes this surreal game of fantasy tug of war. See, these towers are pretty powerful so you end up relying on the waves of units to act as human shields in order to push forward. Your summoner can level up to a maximum of level 18 in a single game, gaining more powerful levels of their abilities as you progress (as well as gold to purchase ability boosts) which means that what starts off as a quite relaxing game of click- to – kill – minions ends up as a furious war between ten completely different magical beings, all of them mercilessly slaughtering each other in an effort to just… destroy… that… one last… tower…

It becomes a death match, near the end. Once you hit level 5 it’s no longer about killing the minions. It’s about getting a positive kill streak by chasing down enemy summoners for a huge XP boost, as well as attempting to aid your minions is progressing… you get the idea. It’s a simple concept, but strikingly complex in practice.

Of course, the beautiful thing about this game isn’t the fresh and addictive nature of it’s game play or the quite frankly gorgeous visual style. No, it’s all in the fact that you don’t have to pay a penny to play it. Sure, there are additional buffs and enhancements you can buy with real money, but if you play enough games online you’ll earn enough “Riot points” to acquire them without ever having to touch your debit card. Even better, is the fact that the developers bring in a new set of summoners every wednesday in order to keep the game fresh and exciting. If you become attached to a summoner, you have the option of purchasing him or her (with money or riot points), meaning he won’t disappear from your list of available characters come next wednesday.

In conclusion? I’m in love, and addicted. There’s so much more I’ve missed out, like a powerful ranking system, fresh maps, character skins, runes. The list goes on and on. This is as good as it’s going to get for free to play games people, so I’d highly recommend you download right now.

Once Again, I Return

2010-01-25T22:32:00.001Z

You know, funny story about where I’ve been for the past week. Mainly, working on this very website for my media project. Yea bad excuse but I just haven’t really had time to update.

Anyway I’ll fill you in on what I’ve been up too. First of all, I bought WET on the PS3 expecting a fantastic Tarantino inspired running – gunning, hacking – slashing epic of a game. Instead, I got a mediocre game that I would be ashamed to pass off as a PS2 title. I’ll do a full (and pretty damn harsh) review tomorrow or Wednesday. In short, it’s been traded in come Saturday. What a load of tosh.

Secondly, I’ve been experimenting with a few more free-to-play games on the PC. I’ve been trying out League of Legends (Warcraft 3 inspired defence strategy game, which is surprisingly addictive, accessible and very good fun online) and have just downloaded Face of Mankind tonight which… well I know nothing about it but a few people have recommended it so I thought I’d get it. A friend said he’d walk me through it at some point this week so I’ll give an opinion on that soon.

Apart from that… Erm. Mass Effect 2 is making people giddy at college, Assassins Creed 2 is a hugely enjoyable game and Borderlands just never ends! Which is a good thing.

Silent Scope

2010-01-18T22:41:00.001Z

Silent Scope was an Arcade game that involved the player taking on the role of a sniper. It played pretty much the same as other Arcade shooters such as House of the Dead, except the gun was mounted and within the snipers scope was a mini screen that showed an enlarged portion of the screen, creating the illusion that the player was zooming into the action on the screen. It was great, very fun to play and was quite revolutionary in terms of arcade game cabinets. Brilliant fun. Except, it would have been. If I didn’t have it on the Dreamcast. Or, if I had it on the Dreamcast and at least had a light gun.

Yes dear readers, I played this game using a fecking controller. That involved slowly scrolling around the screen, pressing L to make the scope view appear on the screen and shoot the enemies. Thinking about it now, it’s baffling that I persevered but for some reason my 12 year old self used to love it. I almost finished it as well, but missed the last shot and died. Can you believe that? I almost finished it.

I can barely get past the first island on GTA4 these days. It’s insane.

Borderlands: Get One While They’re None Existent

2010-01-17T22:35:00.001Z

There’s a severe Borderlands shortage in my city at the moment it seems. Today my Girlfriend and I went into town to buy it for the PS3 as she’s been after it for a while and we just couldn’t find it. Out of Game, Gamestation, HMV, Entertainment Exchange and Grainger Games found two copies. Two. One brand new (£40) and one pre-owned (£27).

Can you believe that? We checked all consoles as well, out of shock. Only two copies, both for PS3. It’s insane. It’s either a testament to how good the game is or the complete lack of copies that were produced…

Assassins Creed 2

2010-01-16T22:35:00.001Z

I’ve been playing Assassins Creed 2 lately, in my attempt to conquer all of the games I got for Christmas (So far, The first God of War and Batman: Arkham Asylum have been clocked).

First impressions are good! I’ve only just got my hidden blade on memory sequence 2, and already I’m pretty hooked. I can’t claim that this is the best game ever or anything just yet. I’m having fun, but I’m not loving it. AC2 needs to be something very special in order to make me forgive it for the sins of the original.

Uncharted 2: Game Of The Year, Game Of The Year.

2010-01-14T17:01:00.002Z

IGN 2009 Game of the Year

I don't think I've ever cringed more before when watching a video. This has singlehandly ruined this game for me.

IGN's so cheesy!

Either My Eyes Are Going, Or It’s Bad Game Design.

2010-01-13T22:39:00.001Z

On Burnout Paradise there are three main ways to navigate Paradise City while in an event.

Memorise the entire map. Which is impossible.
The name of the street you are driving down at the time is displayed at the top of the screen. When you need to turn a corner, the street sign for said turn appears to the left (or right) of the screen. It flashes, and moves towards the canter. When it hits the middle and replaces the current street name, that’s when you turn.
Keep looking at the mini map.

The best thing to do is a combination of all three, a hideously cruel task which I just cannot do at all. If I look at the top, I crash into the car in front of me. If I watch the mini map, I crash into a wall. If I just drive and keep checking the mini map, the top of the screen will flash, I’ll panic, and plough straight into a wall.

At first I thought this was bad game design, then I realised that I was really having to strain my eyes, so it’s probably just me…

It’s still bloody awkward though.

Uncharted 3: The Wrath Of The Gods

2010-01-12T21:26:00.001Z

I just had an amazing idea for Uncharted 3. It could be a God of War inspired mythological quest to uncover the secrets of Pandora's Box or the quest to reach Olympus. You know, some kind of amazing Naughty Dog “Twisted History” story.

Anyway, the finale would see Drake flung into Hades itself, where he has to confront the thousands of mercenaries that he needlessly slaughtered! Suffice to say, it will be a powerful ending.

Nintendo: My Relationship

2010-01-10T23:16:00.001Z

Ahh Nintendo. We used to have so much fun, back in the day. I was young, I was naive. I let myself fall in love too quickly…

See, I loved Nintendo, and Nintendo broke my heart. Back in the day (between 1995 to 2008) we used to have so much fun together! Oh how we laughed when we played Mario Kart, how we shivered when we played Eternal Darkness, how we wooped when we played Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes, how we cried when we played The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, how we gasped when we played Metroid Prime and how we realised just how strong our love was when we played Luigi’s Mansion…

Then… then Nintendo changed. It presented me the Wii, this new invention that it was going to make me buy and at first it was excited and then… and then… I played it. Wii Sports, Wii Fit… where were the good old days? When we used to jump and laugh and kill Koopas? No Nintendo, when we used to kill Koopas without moving our hands around like a twat. Well I’ll tell you where they were, they were gone, hidden beneath an emulator that just made you feel dirty and wrong.

I left the Nintendo camp on the 30th August 2008 and you know what? I’ve never looked back. Not even once. Goodbye Nintendo. This is me, gaining closure.